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Mike Leach Wants To Go To Jamaica: Campus Clicks

Campus Clicks
By Nicki Jhabvala
Bolting For Jamaica
Texas Tech's Mike Leach would kill to have Usain Bolt on his squad. :: AP : Thomas Zimmermann/Imago/Icon SMI

In the wake of Usain Bolt's ridiculousness in Beijing, Mike Leach wants to start recruiting in Jamaica. His reasoning is simple: Jamaica has 2.8 million people. Houston has about 2.8 million people. Jamaica has pirates. He's a pirate. Duhhh.

Bowl-Dawgs

In case you were wondering what the projected No. 1 football team in the country does in its spare time, fear not. That's why I'm here.

Overdue

Library: Whoever stole Dan Brown and Janet Fitch, please return them at once ... or you will end up like Heidi.

All Grown Up
This year's froshies know Harry better than Carlton. :: Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images : AP

Millions of froshies will invade college campuses in the coming weeks, and this year's class is particularly notable for one thing: They're '90s babies. Yes, '90s. Most won't have the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song memorized, many probably don't remember Michael Jackson when he had a nose and I'm willing to bet that few, if any, have even heard of Doogie Howser. But, BUT, the class of 2012 (wow) love them some Harry Potter and these things. And, thanks to Apple, they don't have to endure the pains of students 10 years ago.

Un-Smooth Criminal

Add this guy to the list of America's dumbest criminals: A scrawny 7-foot-1 Cal Poly hoops prospect tried to get away with robbing a bank with a sawed-off shotgun and a 16-year-old accomplice who already had a criminal rap sheet. The most pathetic part of the story, though: "He might never get the opportunity to put on the crucial pounds that could have made him a dominant force in the Big West Conference."

Tree Huggers

To protest the building of a student athletic center at UC Berkeley, which would require uprooting 26 oak trees, a few student hippies have protested by playing Swiss Family Robinson.

Tar Hell

In case you were planning on going buck wild on Halloween in Chapel Hill, you should know that town officials are determined to make your ghostly experience as miserable as possible. The annual festivities on Franklin St., which are known to draw thousands (even Dookies!), are rumored to be cut short by a curfew and an early closing of bars. And we all know that a booze shortage means people like this just might remember every outrageous thing they did on Oct. 31. Gah, the nerve of councilmen!

Hoopty To Whip

And this, my friends, is how you pimp out a car.

Pop Culture Nugget

Zack Morris will never go out of style. Well, wait. I take that back. After seeing this, he's gone. Long gone. Dude, what's with the hair?

Today In Hot Clicks
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Jessica Simpson disses Carrie Underwood ... Leryn Franco is dating ... Tailgating products ... Top sports movie fat kids ... More absurd quotes ... Banned 7-Up ad ... Video: Fantasy football.

Odds and Ends

Like USC, Texas A&M has an itch of its own ... Reasons not to get wasted at Welcome Week parties (shocking discoveries) ... Michael Phelps gets a dank new pimp pad ... Generation-Y-ers really like themselves and the Internet.

Genius

The best foosball player named Elmo that you will ever see.

Round-Table Diss

While Barack and John continue to bicker, our friends at CNN debate another important topic.

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