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Nick Satan Returns: Campus Clicks

Campus Clicks
By Mallory Rubin
A Long-Awaited Return
Nick the New, Nick the Old and Nick haters. :: Bob Rosato/SI : AP

We know Alabama fans are a passionate bunch, which is why it's really not surprising to see them using Biblical parallels to poetically describe the Tide's resurgence. But while 'Bama fans loudly laud all Nick Saban's done for the program, LSU fans can only focus on one thing: Saban's return to Baton Rouge. While Mike VI may miss the chance to take a bite out of Nicktator the Traitor, most of those invested in this rivalry are anxiously awaiting Saturday's matchup. They're even making competitive videos about it.

Who Wants More of the Same?

Our country's leadership will shortly change hands, and after this campaign season, bloggers (and regular people) everywhere are thirsting for change. That's why Sako decided to take a long, hard look at the college football and pop culture landscapes and decide who's still in, and who's out. So, sorry Michigan (and Big Ten football in general), Angelina Jolie, etc., but Sako would like you to kindly step aside and make room Ball State, the Big 12 and Heidi Klum. Speaking of change, Pete Carroll proudly announced on Tuesday he cast his vote for president elect Barack Obama. College News thinks Carroll's recent BCS rankings confusion and Obama's declaration that college football needs an eight-team playoff probably had something to do with it.

Focus on the Blue, or the Devil

College basketball season's almost here, and so even though the gridiron's still hot, Uncoached thinks it's time to start taking Tailgating Nation to the court and it's starting with Duke. We suspect 99 percent of college basketball fans think Coach K, the program's continuous success and the Cameron crazies are probably strong deterrents against taking a trip to Durham, but perhaps we just know too many UNC and Maryland fans.

Oski vs. The Tree
Who would you take in a Tree vs. Oski dual? :: Icon SMI

You'd probably think the tree-humping, eye-hole-drinking Golden Bear mascot would beat the symbolically powerful Stanford Tree in a fight, but are you right?

Help Out a Big Ten Brother, JoePa

Sure, Simon on Sports proclaimed a Penn State loss would be for the greater good, but don't misinterpret these as fightin' words. See, Simon's an Ohio State fan, and he simply doesn't want to waste another January evening pretending a Big Ten team's one of the country's two best.

A Helluva Hokie

If you want to see Virginia Tech's 253-yard man Darren Evans repeatedly plowing Maryland's Terrell Skinner into the ground, College Game Balls has just the post for you.

It's All About the Hide

From now on, don't call yourself a Gator fan unless your basement has cushy armchairs made from faux alligator hide, a 110-inch projection screen and three 32-inch flat screens, autographed jerseys and a glass case full of commemorative championship rings.

In Silhouette

No joke, we knew Ralph Friedgen was No. 10. Chalk it up to the shorts.

Pop Culture Nugget

Perhaps, if we hope really hard, Mos Def, Jeremy Piven, Queen Latifah and Cameron Diaz will all one day be on the same show.

Today In Hot Clicks
Heidi Klum :: Stewart Shining/SI

Epic battle: Heidi Klum vs. Marisa Miller ... 'Melo loses a bet ... Golf shot for $1 million ... Soccer player flips out over yellow card ... Video: Nash's weird ad ... Cow takes on reporter.

Odds and Ends

John Moffitt's getting serious ... It would be super-cool to take a class with a guy who designs art for America's pennies ... If you think lawn aerator sandals are awesome, you're wrong ... Who would be on UConn basketball's version of Mount Rushmore? ... Not surprisingly, people notice when college athletes put racial slurs and threats on their Facebook pages.

Blame the Angle

In honor of Texas Tech's new-found glory, we thought we'd bring back this classic. Ah, this poor kid just wanted to ring the school bell and smile while doing so, but now he's got an unfortunate camera angle to thank for his new Internet infamy.

It's Like Going Home

Only at this former home, everyone either calls you "Snake" "Nicktator" or "Nick Satan."

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