|NFL Power Rankings|
Houston Texans (2-2)The Falcons poured ink in Cinderella's slipper. And how hard does the plunger come down on their heads? Gosh, I don't know. They did beat Carolina and K.C., and they weren't embarrassed by the Colts. Spin the wheel again; I'll let it ride on the even numbers.
Detroit Lions (3-1)Now we're into one of those terrible dilemmas described above. Philly letter writers, please holster your pens. I know the Eagles crushed this team. I don't want to give anything away, but those same Eagles are bubbling around in the murky depths far below. I must raise the Lions above the Bears, whom they just beat, and the resurgent Raiders, ditto.
Cleveland Browns (2-2)Frankly I don't know what to do with them. Moving them below the Ravens would be unfair, but fans of the Raiders, who beat them, must be howling right now ... make that howling more than normal, since it's a full moon. A friend of mine who just arrived from Peru, said, "Where is this city called Hapless? I keep reading about the Hapless Browns." Hapless, my friend, is the place where they have no hap-
Baltimore Ravens (2-2)I looked at the box score and said, "How in the world did they lose this game to the Browns?" They had 26 first downs to 12, 418 yards to 303, more rushing yards and a better average, 5.7 to 3.3, with Willis McGahee carrying 14 times for 104 yards, a lot better than what the Browns' Jamal Lewis had (23 for 64). Penalty yardage was equal. OK, the Ravens had one more turnover, but does that make it 27-13? And I heard that on seven of their eight possessions the Ravens drove from their own territory into Cleveland country. They didn't punt once. OK, they got a field goal on a mini-possession that started with a Cleveland turnover deep in their own territory, but their seven long marches ended in two missed field goals, two when they ran out of downs, an interception, a field goal and a TD. There, I've just summed up the game for you.
Denver Broncos (2-2)It's the same as always. The middle numbers on the rankings board wear me out. The old maxim used to be, good running teams are good at stopping the run, since they work against it in practice all the time. Doesn't seem to work here. The Broncos are getting killed on the ground. Watch LaDainian go for at least 150 on Sunday.
Kansas City Chiefs (2-2)They're making a move, which I never thought would happen, since their offensive line is but a shadow of its former majesty. But Halloween is coming. Strange things happen. I'm one of them.
New York Giants (2-2)Funny the way the focus changes, here in the Apple. It's kind of like the market. First Eli was the focus, then the defense was the oh-oh unit. Now it's the greatest thing since the Steel Curtain after the ravaging of poor Philly. You over there, yes you ... you're just itching to ask me about Tom Coughlin's future, aren't you? I've said it a million times ... I won't speculate about people's jobs.
Washington Redskins (2-1)Here come the screams, from Alexandria to Bethesda. Hey, punk! Titans go up one on their bye, Jags go up two, Skins go down two. Damn unfair, two? Well, Dan Snyder started it. He called me all those names, and in front of witnesses yet.
San Diego Chargers (1-3)"It's time to stop talking and start playing," says LaDainian, which goes under the heading of talking, does it not. No matter. Of more importance is the fact that the home fans were yelling, "Marty! Marty!" after the K.C. loss. Gee, I didn't know there were that many old timers out there who remembered that movie. Academy Award for Ernie Borgnine. Betsy Blair should have won one. Hell of a film.
Chicago Bears (1-3)Three picks, 14 penalties, defensive meltdown in the fourth quarter. What's the rallying cry right now? "Protect the football!" is what I'm hearing. Just saw three Brinks guards and a Pinkerton climbing out of the van.