|NFL Power Rankings|
Arizona Cardinals (8-8)Preseason 7-9. They were the clever pick, the sleeper wild-card team. Your faithful narrator was not fooled, no, not at all. He saw a schedule that presented too many pitfalls.
Detroit Lions (7-9)Preseason 4-12. I want to apologize to all my friends out there. I saw the tunnel but no light at the end of it. Can we see it now? I guess so, kind of.
Chicago Bears (7-9)Preseason 11-5, NFC North champion and Philly's upset victim in the Divisionals. I have all the Preseason publications spread out in front of me. I want to find one, only one, forecaster who foresaw the disaster. Wait a minute, I found one. Suzuki Watanabe of Asahi Shimbun in Tokyo predicted a 3-6 record for the Bears. That doesn't seem right. Is something missing?
Cincinnati Bengals (7-9)Preseason 10-6, division champion, loser to Indy in the Divisionals. Another pretty face hoodwinks the aged doctor. Why aren't I better at this? Other kids on the block are. I do my homework, read all the newspapers, talk to the right people. Are they still holding my old job for me back at the warehouse?
San Francisco 49ers (5-11)Preseason 8-8. I saw a non-collapsible QB. I didn't like their O-line. Thought their defense was improving. Anyone still awake?
New York Jets (4-12)Preseason 9-7. Nope, no playoffs this year. A bold pick, since they had made the postseason in '06 and the division offered only New England as a challenger. But I knew, see, that this wasn't a playoff team. Instinct, I guess. Why does my wife have a paper bag over her head?
Oakland Raiders (4-12)Preseason 4-12. I am getting a warm feeling about this team. It just doesn't let me down.
Kansas City Chiefs (4-12)Preseason 7-9. I saw the decline from playoff status behind a deteriorating offensive line, honest I did. But I didn't figure it would be so complete.
Baltimore Ravens (5-11)Preseason 10-6, AFC North Champion, although upset by the Bengals in the wild-card round. See, I could show restraint, too. Coming off a gaudy 13-3 mark, but if I would have checked with Steve McNair's personal physician, I might have had a different slant on things. He wouldn't return my phone calls, though, even when I left a message that I was the AMA's regional director.
St. Louis Rams (3-13)Preseason ... "Is this going to be another of those mea culpa numbers?" the Flaming Redhead hollers from the kitchen, where she is turning the Xmas ham into the most gigantic pot of soup you've ever seen. No, honey, I only had 'em 9-7, but out of the playoffs, see ... hey, put that damn pot down!
Atlanta Falcons (4-12)Preseason 3-13, which was where everyone else had 'em, too. Right in the pit and that's no bull.
Miami Dolphins (1-15)Preseason 5-11. No forecaster would pick a team to finish 1-15, unless it's one of those smirky, smartass types trying to make a reputation for himself. I mean dignified people just don't do it.