Tale of the Tape
SI.com's Cory McCartney pits the The Simpsons mischievous star against the Falcons QB.
Bart Simpson
Michael Vick
Often Finds Himself
In trouble In trouble
Also Known As
El Barto, Bartman Ron Mexico, Ookie
Will Soon Appear
In theatres In court
Catch Phrase(s)
"¡Ay, caramba!," "Don't have a cow, man!, "Eat my shorts!" and "I didn't do it." Nothing lately, but typically "I didn't do it."
Spikes Are ...
His hairstyle What he makes his living in.
Headache To
Homer Simpson (above), Seymour Skinner, Moe Szylak and on and on. Commissioner Roger Goodell (above), Falcons owner Arthur Blank, coach Bobby Petrino and on and on.
Dog Issue
Got credit card in dog's name "Santos L. Halper." Alleged dogfighting
Constantly Deals With
Sideshow Bob Being a sideshow
Incurable Ailment
ADD Low QB rating ... and the reason for that whole Ron Mexico thing.
Biggest Obstacle(s)
Getting out of the fourth grade. Possible jail time, possible fine and a tarnished image.
Rolls With
Milhouse (above), Nelson, Martin and Ralph. P-Funk, Q, T, brother Marcus and suspect water bottles.

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