While the rest of us settle for merely buying in bulk, Lakers centers Chris Kaman and Robert Sacre have surged ahead of the wholesale game. Gone are the fridge-stocking trips to Costco. According to Dave McMenamin of ESPN Los Angeles, the pair -- along with Lakers strength and conditioning coach Tim DiFrancesco -- recently pooled their money to purchase a cow, solely in an effort to stockpile hundreds of pounds of beef. McMenamin, thankfully, explains:
This isn't like Billy Crystal's pet cow Norman in "City Slickers." The three of them are going in together on a full cow's worth of beef after it's been to the butcher, or approximately 400 pounds of cuts of meat for their freezers.
DiFrancesco, who has picked up the nickname "Grass-Fed Tim" around the team because of his belief in the health benefits of eating grass-fed beef, came up with the idea after connecting with a farm that raises grass-fed cows down in San Diego.
Kaman is getting half, 200 pounds, while Sacre and DiFrancesco are getting a quarter, 100 pounds, each. It was originally supposed to be a four-way split, but longtime Lakers trainer Gary Vitti backed out.
"Gary Vitti ran out of freezer space, so I think he’s out," Kaman said. "So, I got to pick up the slack. I’m happy to, though."
Freezer space was an issue for Sacre, too, so he did something about it.
"I had to go to a Best Buy to go buy me a 15 cubic foot freezer," said Sacre, who estimated that the freezer and the beef will end up costing him about $1,300 combined. "It’s, uh, it’s intense."
For some perspective: Per HomeGrownCow.com, a quarter beef -- Sacre and DiFrancesco's individual shares -- generally includes the following:
• 43lbs. of hamburger
• 3 large Sirloin Steaks
• 7 Chuck Roasts
• 4 Porterhouse Steaks
• 6 T-Bone Steaks
• 9 Ribeye Steaks
• 4 Sirloin Tip Steaks
• A tenderized round steak
• 3 packs of stew meat
• A tied and rolled Rump Roast
• Some soup bones
That last bit is important, as Kaman and Sacre made sure to note their holistic intentions for their new purchase. From McMenamin's report:
Sacre and Kaman don't want to lose any of the parts the cow has to offer. See, there's a difference when you buy the whole cow versus just buying hundreds of pounds of steak. Sacre is looking forward to the cow tongue. Kaman wants some of the skeleton.
"I’m going to get a bunch of the bones, too, and boil them down and make some beef stock," Kaman said. "It’s good for your joints and ligaments and tendons."
You have to applaud them both for their commitment to using as much of the purchased cow as possible, as well as their buying audacity. Theirs, after all, is the way of the future; by 2023 we'll all have 15-foot freezers in our homes stocked full of dry-aged meats. One can never have too many steaks on-hand, making it safest to buy and freeze them by the dozens lest you be caught without.