Mark Sanchez is the next Jay Cutler -- and other NFL draft thoughts
Hey, I'm not proud that I predicted
3:58 p.m. ET Saturday: I make the mistake of turning on the TV two minutes early and hear
4:01: ESPN had a
4:02: The United States has deployed 38,000 troops to Afghanistan. ESPN deploys 39,000 to the NFL draft.
4:13: Can you imagine ESPN covering Election Day this way? Man, I might go out AND VOTE TWICE.
4:56: The Raiders' draft room, I suppose, consists of
5:17: Here is Sanchez, during a conference call last week: "The whole plan we had was about peaking at the right time and knowing how to finish. This draft process is almost over, and we wanted to show everybody [I] know how to finish, that I'm in it for the long haul, that I'm ready be a franchise quarterback." What exactly does all that mean? It means he's a smoke-and-mirrors wunderkind with 16 college starts and a great marketing department.
5:22: Kiper doesn't even shave any more because when he looks into his bathroom mirror, he sees Todd McShay.
5:48: NFL Network televising the NFL draft is like Disney Channel showing Disney movies -- what choice do they have?
6:04: In his day, I've got to figure
6:13: If the Browns trade down any further, their first pick will be in the WNBA draft.
6:30: I don't have any definitive evidence, but something tells me the Bengals don't use their draft room for drafting purposes.
6:42: If Sanchez is presidential, he should first run for governor of California, then make a bid for the White House.
6:50: Are the Cowboys skipping the first round, or did they secede from the league?
6:57: Not sure if the crowd is chanting "U-S-A!" or "E-Z Pass!"
7:23: I am looking at
7:29: How long does it take to disinfect Radio City Music Hall after an NFL draft weekend?
7:57: I've already set up my Mark Sanchez interception pool for next season.
A. Your question reminds me of an obscure fact: Einstein actually developed his EPR paradox to alter the NBA's 24-second shot clock in 1954, but
Q. What do you think Mel Kiper Jr. will do for the rest of the year now that the NFL draft is over? (Jason West; Knox, N.Y.)
A. He is in a fantasy Homo sapiens league with Punxsutawney Phil.
Q. With the tournament completed, do the lords of Augusta National rent out Butler Cabin for weddings and bar mitzvahs, or is the sacred shack reserved solely for the year-round storage of
A. Pay the man, Shirley.