A fan's guide to etiquette while attending sporting events
The NFL claims that any fan ejected from a league stadium for boorish behavior this season will not be allowed to attend another game until he or she -- let's be honest:
Finally, and I cannot stress this enough ...
If you catch a baseball, T-shirt or other projectile, hand it over to the nearest child. These aren't emergency rations, thrown from the back of a truck. They're mini basketballs, slung-shot into the seats. Get a grip -- and not on your neighbor's neck -- or I'll see you in class again next summer.