By Allan Muir
If we've learned anything this week, it's that a when an old, rich guy feels like he's been screwed over, he will never, ever let it go.
First, there was the story out of Florida about Bruins owner Jeremy Jacobs and his personal vendetta against some other rich guy who treated show-jumping horses as a profit center rather than a noble sport that J.J. prefers. The horror. And the irony. But mostly, the horror.
That was awesome. But Ottawa owner Eugene Melnyk just knocked him off the podium to take the goofy gold.
Melnyk is so convinced that Pittsburgh's Matt Cooke intentionally injured Sens' defenseman Erik Karlsson last month that's he's commissioned a CSI-style forensic investigation to prove it.
Melnyk revealed his plan today on Bob McCown's Prime Time Sports program. He was totally serious. And completely oblivious to how much of a punch line he's about to become.
“You watch. It may be public. It may not be public, but it’s between me and the league. I think it was intentional, but you have to be able to prove it and from all the television angles that we saw, you can’t see it. It was so fast. But the force of that skate, [it] had to go in through a sock, a sub sock, then [Karlsson’s] skin, muscle, sheath and then get to [Karlsson’s] tendon ... either this guy is very good or very lucky, to be able to do that.”
Yeah. Cooke's a ninja like that.
Melnyk's been convinced of Cooke's nefarious intent right from the start. So much so, in fact, that he's incapable of complete sentences when talking about him
"This guy should be kicked ... He doesn't belong in the league. He belongs somewhere where the goons play," said an emotional Melnyk. "Get him in the Central league. He can be a $60,000-a-year guy playing pick-up hockey there. The guy does not deserve ... He's got one purpose. I remember when this happened with Spezza. I said, 'If these are the rules, I just want to know.' We'll play with the same rules. Make sure you have one or two goons whose job is to do this either intentionally or unintentionally."
We get the wildly irrational response in the days after the incident. Losing Karlsson probably cost his team whatever chance it had of making a deep run in the playoffs.
But six weeks have passed. Everyone...and we mean everyone...who saw it believes it was an accident. Except Crazy Old Man Melnyk.
Hey, it's his money. If he wants to waste it this way while providing us all with a few chuckles, that's great.
But we're guessing he's going to be hearing from Gary Bettman, who will suggest that he drop this silliness and never mention it again.