Shield your eyes! The Buffalo Sabres' new third jersey is hideous!
By Allan Muir
Nope, I can't do it. I wanted to say something vaguely positive like, "Maybe they'll look better on the ice" or "These will be a huge hit with scofflaws looking for an alternative to the traditional orange reflective vest when they're doing their roadside community service." You know, because real people who were paid money for their input apparently tried their best to come up with something snazzy and vibrant that would inspire the team, rev up the fans and keep the cash registers ringing in the merch shop.
But there's no sugarcoating this, is there? This is flat out awful. This is Jaden Smith-meets-M. Night Shyamalan terrible, an epic miscalculation that makes the Team USA Olympic jersey that was universally reviled last week look like the gracefully elegant Sainte-Flanelle of the Canadiens by comparison.
In fact, that two-tone yellow body with the tiny Buffalo wordmark over the logo is so inconceivably bad, I'm thinking this has to be a bit aimed at working the internet into a lather ahead of revealing the classically beautiful real new third.
Come on, Otter. Come clean with us. It's a joke, right?