THE HIGH-ANGLE selfie (#me), the feet on the beach (#summer #fun), the cat that sleeps funny (#picoftheday #catsofinstagram). Silicon Valley statisticians have estimated that, since January 2014, it is images and hashtags such as these that are responsible for 85% of Instagram's shared content.*

But as the producer of SwimDaily, I'm not paid to spend my time admiring mediocre sunsets or shirtless dudes in bathroom mirrors. We got our girls, a huge roster of women leading extraordinary lives which often means extraordinary pics.

But even extraordinary lives can succumb to routine. I've noticed some trends and tendencies of the model feeds. So I asked myself, what do these trends tell us about these women? And after much deep consternation, I'm pretty sure I've figured what it is that make the model instagram stand out from the regular ones. Follow these tendencies and watch your followers triple. (Pro tip: be gorgeous.)

 


 

1. Show a desire to #FreeTheNipple: While most of our girls embrace the European school of thought when it comes to nudity, Emily R., whose attitude toward nakedness could rival a devout nudist's, pretty much owns this category. Most, if not all of these ladies, though, would be cool to free the nip if our culture weren't so prude, but in the meantime they're happy to subvert the Instagram Terms of Use via a loophole

 


 

2. Go to Lululemon, head to gym, pick up free weight, get someone to photograph it: Because she works hard for the money, especially Izabel Goulart, but I'd crash the server if I tried to include all her #BodyByIza posts.

 


 

3. Perfect the "Who Jacked My Turbie Twist?" lookThis 'do is typically a prerequisite for getting hired for a shoot. Less to do with exertion, more to do with stylists tirelessly trying to create a trend that will never catch on (save for the occasional Deadhead).

 


 

4. Develop a fanbase devoted enough to turn you into art: Another category dominated overwhelmingly by Emily R. who is basically the Kiki de Montparnasse​ to her fanbase's Man Ray. (ICYDK, Em was an art history major, so it wouldn't hurt to know what I'm talking about). Then again, Irina Shayk has at least two fans who made her likeness a permanent part of their anatomy, so that's...well, that's f***ing weird.

 


 

5. Insist upon luxury suites and unprecedented access at games: A specialty of Canadian hockey fan Kate Bock

 


 

6. Be on Charlie Rose It's a thing.

 


 

7.  Learn to sleep gorgeously: Sleep scientists have found no evidence of people, even the beautiful ones, successfully taking selfies while asleep. And yet...

 


*This number is 100% fabricated. But it can't be far off.


Swim Daily
Coping with Monday™: Emily Ratajkowski's Loveliest Instagrams (categorized by SFW-ness)