Designated Read: If this doesn't help A&M…

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Programming note: This kind of post will usually go up first thing in the morning, but we were a mite busy today, y'know, launching the site and everything. Grab your Luckies (or pretend you've picked up a smoking habit) and your smartphone, and head downstairs to peruse what we've been reading today in the august halls of Campus Union:

Beat my two-minute mark without choking on your own bile, I dare you. Fan videos set to song are never, ever a good idea, and that's what makes them such an indispensable part of college football. Please enjoy Texas A&M's "Butt Kickin' Boogie," and join me in wondering why so many SEC partisans are reluctant to admit the Aggies to their ranks.

Everybody's good at something. By my count, since shortly before National Signing Day 2010, four-star defensive tackle prospect Brandon Willis has: committed to and decommitted from Tennessee in a matter of days, signed with North Carolina, left North Carolina for UCLA, burned his redshirt, returned to the Tar Heels and, as of Sunday, was headed back to (guess where) Westwood. Did I miss anything?

A reminder: Jarrett Lee could see meaningful playing time for LSU. Stop laughing. Every Day Should Be Saturday obtains exclusive non-footage of Jordan Jefferson's alleged barfight-based encounter with a United States serviceman.

September, you can get here just any time now. For our third consecutive NCAAF malfeasance-related post: There're a few "unusual" things about Marvin Austin's college transcript? The heck you say!

Like all great Miami shirts, it comes with a language warning.Suit up, indignant 'Cane partisans.

Requisite afternoon wonkery. Smart Football asks, "Can a quarterback's throwing motion be improved?" Stephen Garcia likes his patented Banquet Beer Heave just the way it is, sirrah.

Sounds like the Tide are gonna be pretty solid this year! [blink] SB Nation's Bill Connelly reviews and projects the fortunes of the Alabama Crimson Tide, who you might have heard are pretty good at playing football. But job-sharing at QB? Sounds an awful lot like socialism, PAAAOWL.

Because I said it's important, that's why. South Alabama's depth chart! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Your Daily Dana Holgorsen Devotional. "The biggest thing is to get to know the other 50 percent of the team," said the Mount Pleasant, Iowa, native. "I'm still signaling the plays in, but I've hired some good guys that can meet with [the offense] so I have some free time to bulls--- with some of the [defensive] guys and get to know them. My job is to mesh the team." More from Mandel.

Texas Tech has a walk-on defensive back named Happiness Osunde.

As you were.