Designated Read: No word from live bears

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Thursday Thursday Thursday! Week 2 play commences at 7:30 p.m. ET with Florida A&M at Hampton (ESPNU), followed at 8:00 p.m. by Arizona at Oklahoma State (ESPN). More on these footballsome morsels later.

Baylor, you wound us with your short-memoried bear claws. Today in conference realignment  irritants: Recall that Baylor played a part in making SWC fan gear vintage and difficult to find, and thus is the deserving subject of eye-rolling as it pleads for a Texas unsullied by new conference inroads (except those from Conference USA and the Mountain West that, again, it helped create); but really, we cannot in good conscience blame Bears officials for looking out for themselves, because they're paid to position the university for success in the best ways they know how. (It's the acting like they're fit-pitching for the common good that's so loathsome, particularly when they refuse to bring live bears into the discussion.)

Giveth, taketh. In and out of various depth charts for Week 2 action are: LSU's Russell Shepard, extended to a three-game suspension. Talismanic Arizona receiver Juron Criner, who didn't travel with the team to Stillwater, reportedly due to illness. Jacory Harris, back atop Miami's quarterbacking rotation for the 'Canes' home opener against Ohio State (in Week 3, but worth mentioning). And some guy named "Jadeveon Clowney," who will start at defensive end for South Carolina in Athens on Saturday.

Can we get a trophy with the face of Woodrow Wilson on it or something? Alabama fans, now would be the time to get that ball rolling on the beatification of Bear Bryant.

U MAD, Corches? Dewy-skinned, doe-eyed coaching ingenues Mark Richt and Rick Neuheisel have about had it with your lip, assembled media drones and lollygagging football players who just don't understand how you already work around the clock, on your hair.

Frank Beamer likes money. That's why he calls it money. His Crustiness appears to be all set up for his very, very eventual retirement from coaching, with VPI set to provide him with the seed money he needs to start that artisinal candle shop he's always dreamed of.

Bryce being Bryce. Faced with a coach who won't slot him in for a starting position as some sort of recruiting curio, Bryce Brown is having a bit of trouble cracking Kansas State's two-deep. Fumbling against Eastern Kentucky, a meager program even among the directional Kentuckies, is probably not helping his case.

Quote of the day, I. "I will be glad when all these conferences get realigned. Tired of talking about and anticipating what might happen." -- Mike Leach. Us too, coach.

Quote of the day, II. "I can't read minds. I only assume conference pres. are motivated by the same things we all love: ass, cash, violence, and sugary food." -- Spencer Hall

Quote of the day, III. "I don't know what a jetski crash touchdown dance looks like, but I do know Jacory Harris has had plenty of time to prep one." -- @celebrityhottub

Quote of the day, IV. "It's just a regular game, but the sky is dark, and it's on a different channel." -- Michael Floyd keeps this weekend's exhaustively hyped Notre Dame-Michigan tilt in perspective.

Thursday whimsy:


difficult to navigate for grown people

just as jaunty as all giddyup

Rocky Top

some sort of bioweapon


transcribing Les Miles

your favorite Stephen Garcia hairstyle