Hot Mics, Cold Hearts: Week 4 in quotes

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Potent quotables from three bright September days of college football. 

• "It was like they were having a football party and they invited us." -- Les Mileson the Tigers' time in West Virginia

• "This means that Ron Zook has now pulled off something at Illinois that not even Dick Butkus (1962-64) could." -- Stewart Mandel, on Illinois' 4-0 season-opening streak

• "LSU special teams and defense are so good, I'm convinced they could beat half of FBS by taking a knee on every play on offense." -- Brian Fremeau

• "I can't shake the feeling that Texas A&M's second-half collapse against OSU is ultimately Texas' fault." -- David Ubben

• "Texas A&M's D is going to have to change its substitution patterns. It's like they didn't know they were playing a no-huddle team." -- Andy Staples

• "Maryland football: arglebargle or foofaraw?" -- @Bobby_BigWheel

• "If any group from the Orlando area deserves an invite to the Big East, it's Medieval Times." -- @celebrityhottub

• "Nice helmet color, Oklahoma State: 'primer.'" -- Neil Thom

• "Odd topic came up at my place with friends. Honestly, there's debate: what happens to Bevo at death: burial or BBQ?" -- Andrea Wall

• "How could Mike Locksley get fired less than 24 hrs after covering the spread against Sam Houston State? AFTER EVERYTHING HE'S DONE FOR YOU!" -- @CaptainAnnoying

• "I'm not sure USC has made any defensive adjustments at halftime since Lane/Monte Kiffin have arrived." -- Bryan Fischer

• "Next week, Under Armour should make uniforms out of a flag from a state that is better at football." -- Dan Wolken

• "WVU's stadium backs up to a hospital. That and the moonshine makes this the friendliest tailgate in America for alcohol poisoning." -- Steven Godfrey

• "Les Miles calls up the halfback pass. We're approaching the Event Horizon in this game." -- Chris Brown

• "We'll be back." -- Chris Fowler, on Morgantown

• "Mountaineers, you sure you want to move to SEC? Because for every Kentucky and Ole Miss, there's a lot of teams that kinda look like this." -- Ralph Russo

• "Watching Cal makes me realize how good Cal's coaches are at recruiting. Only recruiting." -- Dan Rubenstein

• "Matt Millen's not going to comment on a play occurring during his game because 'I'm not... I'm not...' What, an analyst?" -- Paul Myerberg

• "Well, there goes UVA's bowl chances...will I EVER get to spend Christmas in Shreveport?" -- Ian Cohen

• "There's nothing sadder than a depressed football fan with a pelt on his head." -- Doug Farrar

• "If Oklahoma State's safeties were playing any deeper today, they'd be in Navasota."

"State's safties are actually playing in Elgin."

"There's an OSU safety wandering around in the Baylor tailgate in Waco."

"Setting up a perimeter to block A&M's escape."

-- Pat Forde, Andy Staples, Geoff Davidson, and David Ubben, passing a pleasant afternoon in the Big 12

• "Only way Mike Stoops' season gets any worse is if he's found driving Mike Locksley's car." -- Brett McMurphy

• "That point spread will be expressed in degrees Kelvin." -- Andrew Bernstein, on the Louisville-Kentucky odds

Bruce Feldman