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Cal Bears football 2012: Everything's going to be fine ... probably


We visited Cal once for a football game in the waning years of Memorial Stadium's usefulness and safety, and were not overfond of the facilities there (nobody likes splinters they can feel through a sundress). So as fans of excellence in football, we're very pleased to hear the renovations undertaken the year before last are projected to be far enough along to kick off the 2012 season without interference. The San Francisco Chronicle reports that "finishing work will continue throughout the 2012 football season," but all seems to be going swimmingly. Right up until the point where school administrators prove they have never seen a movie in their lives and don't understand what it means to tempt fate. 

"There's nothing aside from a catastrophic event that would prevent us from having a game Sept. 1," assistant athletic director Bob Milano Jr. said.

"Barring some kind of unforeseen natural disaster, we absolutely will be playing football in renovated Memorial Stadium on Sept. 1, 2012, against Nevada," [athletic director Sandy Barbour said.

This is campers going off to investigate a strange noise in the woods alone at night. This is a nubile young blonde sneaking into an abandoned insane asylum after dark for a sorority dare. This is 2012, and it would behoove us as a species to be more careful with our words.

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The forthcoming Golden Bears season is not brought to you from the mind of Roland Emmerich, but it maybe should be. "Cal Football: When They Tell You Not To Panic, That's When You Run."