Designated Read: Now shave in a Super G

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• Mark Richt remains firmly in control of his facial hair. Who are we to question Lady Richt, really?

"Here’s Why Your Favorite Team Won’t Win The National Championship."There is a headline we will click automatically, but if you need a little convincing, read right on:

July gives way to August. The summer heat begins to fade. Coaches are told their rankings are due. Coaches tell their SIDs to prepare their rankings. Those SIDs do what they’re told. The rankings are submitted and USA Today publishes them. You get excited because your team is included.

You are stupid.

• Owowowowow. There's no fun way to frame this, nor should there be: Washington running back Deontae Cooperhas suffered a third ACL tear. This is terrible, and we feel terrible for him. That is all.

• Transfers, mount up. Today on the carousel: Oregon WR Tacoi Sumler to an unnamed FCS program, UConn quarterback Mike Nebrich to parts unknown and defensive assistant Nick Holt to Arkansas.

• Todd Graham inspires art. Will wonders never cease? Fans of typed venom, click right through to Pitt blog Cardiac Hill's assessment of the rebranding of a guy we still can't believe hasn't had a line of Teddy Grahams made in his image.

• STOP TALKING ABOUT THEM THE GODS WILL HEAR YOU. Jim Mora might not have been at UCLA long enough to know not to name UCLA quarterbacks where people might hear, but he'll learn. As soon as his entire three-deep goes down to non-contact injuries unexplainable by the best doctors, he'll learn.

• You will need the practice. Mizzou players are gonna regret not getting in those distraction-filtering reps if 'Bama travels with the Crimsonettes this October.

• Happy trails, TDP. Clemson's AD's retirement is official. The internet remembers the good times: