Umm, it's called the Football CHAMPIONSHIP series for a reason. HelLO. (AP)
• Think we've solved this thing. The entity we are apparently still insisting on calling the FCS wants to rebrand itself, and is endeavoring to do so with the NCAA's help:
CAA officials are not revealing the cost of the plan, nor do they want to end the suspense by releasing a recently completed consultant's report.
But it's about more than just a name, NCAA spokesman Damani Leech said. "There's other things related to branding. There's the strategy behind it. There's the actual messages," Leech said. "It's more than just what you call yourselves, but it's what you say about yourself and how you talk about yourself."
For free, we will now fix this problem: Return to I-A and I-AA. AA is, like, a whole 'nother A, you guys. Americans are not super great at applying basic math to real-world problems. Ride that. In many high school football systems, a greater number of A's affixed to one's team signifies a larger program.
Act larger. Swagger taller. Send your best teams to the Sugar Bowl and demand they take the field. Based on our previous experiences in the Superdome, it is entirely possible this might be allowed to happen. Your destiny is exactly that: yours.
• And now, the weather. From the "Tropical Storm Isaac, College Football And You" Department: Tulane moves the Green Wave to Birmingham to ride it out; LSU has closed school today and tomorrow with Saturday's opener with North Texas still planning to go ahead, and last we heard from Louisiana Tech, the Bulldogs and Texas A&M were still scheduled to convene in Shreveport Thursday night.
• Music, I. Longtime readers will know our feelings on singing and/or rapping college football people. Today, Michigan takes the lead in the lyrics race.
• Music, II.
Yes, let us please all adopt Build Me Up Buttercup at least for Arizona State's visit, and sing "Don't break my heart" in the general direction of Todd Graham.
• Roster blotter. ATTENTION. WILL MUSCHAMP. EYES OVER HERE. WE ARE TALKING IN CAPS LOCK, YOUR NATIVE LANGUAGE, SO THAT YOU MAY UNDERSTAND THAT WHILE WE WERE MAKING A JOKE AT THE EXPENSE OF YOUR PREVIOUS EMPLOYERS, IT WAS, IN FACT, A JOKE:
Elsewhere on the roster carousel: Michael Dyerbound for Arkansas Baptist ... Florida will do without Pop Saunders for two games ... Kansas State quarterback Tavarius Bender leaves the Wildcats ... and Purdue suspends linebacker Dwayne Beckford after -- a short story you'll want to click through and read just for the twangy phrase -- "his third brush with Tippecanoe County law enforcement."
• Quote of the day. "I'll try not to hit the guy's helmet next time, I guess." -- Tyler Bray, on how he expects to make it through this season without breaking another hand.