Tired of reading exclusively about Missouri, Texas A&M and LSU heading into the weekend? We’ve got you covered. Read about the rest of the action in our Saturday Superlatives, which are kind of like preseason awards for the upcoming weekend of football, and just as binding. For additional preview content heading into Week 2, check out Andy Staples’ Walkthrough.
• Best Worst Anniversary. It's Auburn-Mississippi State weekend, which means it's the anniversary of No. 9 Auburn 3, Mississippi State 2. It also means it's time to drag our favorite decrepit video down out of the bloggy attic.
We had what our parents called a "real job" in 2008, and constructed this 3-2 tribute video the Monday after the game on some ancient version of Quicktime while rendering something we were actually being paid to make in Final Cut. The video is grainy, but think of that aspect as a tribute to the quality of play captured. The end product is raggedy and not aging well, and it might just be the work we are most proud of in our entire lives.
PLEASE. PLEASE OH PLEASE. PLEASE MAKE THIS HAPPEN, DAN MULLEN POWERS. Week 2 proffers a uniquely terrible slate of games overall, and another 3-2 finish would be its crowning achievement. Auburn is looking to avoid an 0-2 start after an opening-week loss to Clemson, while Mississippi State is coming off a 56-9 win over Jackson State.
• Biggest gambling-based existential crisis. Seriously, look over this schedule and try not to make a face like maybe there was a skunk in your office an hour ago. Savannah State, the hapless victim of last week's 84-0 Oklahoma State obliteration, travels to Florida State this week and will surely meet a similarly unhappy end. (To their credit, the Seminole folks have been very careful about politely pointing out how this game never would have existed had West Virginia not bolted for the Big 12, forcing the cancellation of the Mountaineers' date with FSU.) In this game, Savannah State is the biggest underdog in the history of college football.
Wetzel's asking legally here, but we see this as more of a philosophical question. What say you, gentle readers?
• Best potential for awkward televised jokes about bowl bans. Central Florida at Ohio State, in addition to being one of the few genuinely, positively intriguing matchups of Week 2, will also make for spicy downtime chatter about how terriblarious it will be if the Buckeyeswin their division and are held out of the Big Ten title game, or if UCF wrecks C-USA on its way to the Big East and gets nothing for a parting gift (or has to sit out next year and misses out on an Orange Bowl bid). We're going to need some puns to get through this. Lots of puns. Beth Mowins and Joey Galloway will be on the mic for ESPN2. Don't let us down, y'all.
• Most predictable game of the week, as decreed by CyberTyde. Nick Saban will race to a 40-point lead against Western Kentucky and then just sit there for the remaining two and a half quarters, because that's what his logic chip will tell him a "gentleman hu-man" would do.
• Undercard matchups of greatest interest. South Florida and Nevada, which both could conceivably end up hoisting conference championship trophies at the end of this season, meet Saturday afternoon in Reno. In prime time another conference frontrunner, a Louisiana Tech team we haven't yet seen thanks to Hurricane Isaac, meets a Houston team we have no idea what to make of after its Week 1 30-13 loss to Texas State.
• Saddest potential upset. Which would be worse? Indiana losing to a UMass team that didn't score a single point in its first FBS game, or Florida Atlantic and Middle Tennessee State heading into overtime tied 0-0?
• Grisliest potential blowout. It's got nothing to do with the Seminoles: Arkansas State has a legitimately potent offense and a major case of the nasty sulks after having to spend Week 1 getting its doors blown off by Oregon. The Red Wolves play Memphis this week. This will not be pretty.
• Morbid curiosity matchups. Texas State-Texas Tech and UTEP-Ole Miss. You don't really want to watch, but you really want to watch.
Most promising nightcaps.