"Psst. Hey, Colby Cameron, lookit me! I'm an AP Poll voter! I'm gonna slot Texas Tech in over you, no matter what!" (AP)
• Sonny Dykes will remember your insolence. It's fruitless to worry over college football polls when one has no power to change them, but what else are we going to do at this hour on a Monday morning? We have followed the progress of the Louisiana Tech Bulldogs with interest since seeing them come perilously close to knocking off TCU in last season's Poinsettia Bowl. They are currently 4-0 and have beaten Illinois and Virginia in nonconference play over the past two weeks (earning $1.6 million for those two road trips). They are not even close to cracking the AP Top 25, or the exercise in mass self-delusion we continue to refer to as the Coaches' Poll. This is stupid and gross. Would you like to know more? Peruse our favorite Monday read, Bryan Fischer's Poll Attacks.
• Or an Urbz-Dantonio glower-off, at 20 paces, at dawn. Ohio State doctored game footage it sent to Michigan State, says Michigan State's defensive coordinator. "MSU associate athletic director John Lewandowski said MSU athletic director Mark Hollis and Ohio State athletic director Gene Smith settled the issue between them, with no Big Ten involvement," says the Detroit Free Press. We imagine this matter was resolved with one extremely tense game of Hungry Hungry Hippos. (Did you know they make a travel version of this game now? We have one in our guest room. It's like a little terrarium of potential sibling warfare. This post is in no way sponsored by Hasbro, which would not approve of some of the words we said to our little brother over the last marble.)
• Someday soon we may not be able to use FBS and FCS as our way of remembering which one is Georgia State and which one is Georgia Southern. Students vote in favor of a fee to help fund a possible leveling-up for the Eagles.
• Houston would like to host a national title game at some point, if it's not too much trouble. Reliant Stadium gets in on the neutral site season opener racket, working with Mississippi State and Oklahoma State on a possible August 2013 matchup. For what it's worth, we appreciate this trend, and applaud all involved parties for making it fashionable for power-conference programs to actually play each other when venturing out of league games.
• Next week's bombshell: Secret Tar Heels booster Derek Zoolander. "[Several] freshman football players who struggled to read and write at a college level." "The documents also describe a sometimes-contentious relationship between tutors and players, with descriptions of study sessions where players wouldn’t cooperate." These could reference just about any major college football program, but the details of the News & Observer's latest report on UNC's clash between academics and athletics make for a compelling read.
• Roster blotter. South Florida receiver Chris Dunkley has been arrested on domestic violence charges and suspended indefinitely from the Bulls ... Auburn receiver Quan Bray will sit out Week 6 after a traffic stop arrest.
• Tweet of the day.