• Expect to see this discussed in tonight's vice presidential debate. Finally, an NCAA crackdown on the scourge of inartfully faked lens flares.
• Hair news of vital importance. Here is a news release from Stanford that we feel compelled to reprint in its entirety:
STANFORD, Calif. - The mullet that once graced the head of defensive end Ben Gardner has returned.
“I didn’t want to bring it back, to be honest,” Gardner said. “I cut it last year after the final game of the regular season, and then we ended up losing the Fiesta Bowl. You wouldn’t believe all the crap I took from teammates blaming the loss on my lack of mullet.
“At the end of the day, they kind of convinced me they needed it. I brought it back for one more final hurrah. I’m going to keep it to the end of the bowl. Maybe we’ll cut it in the locker room after the game.”
So, just so we’re straight, the mullet was to blame for the 41-38 overtime loss to Oklahoma State and not Cowboys’ receiver Justin Blackmon?
“According to the other 100 guys in the locker room, it was my mullet,” Gardner contested.
Our very best wishes to Mr. Gardner in all his coiffure-related endeavors.
• This Kansas thing, cont'd. The Kansas athletic department is still mad at the Kansas student paper for pointing out Kansas is bad at football, because without the Kansas student paper nobody would ever, ever know the Jayhawks lost to Rice. (WHOOPSADOODLE.)
• Coaches crabbin'! Spurrier and Dabo, takin' shots! The OBC's Dowager Countess moments are always to be treasured, because there is almost nothing we like more than grown men pretending not to throw shade in the press while doing just that and smiling like Cheshire cats. Like Dabo says, it's all part of the regional magic of our beautiful game.
• Coaches crabbin', Part 2: The Crabbening! Did a pizza delivery guy get fired for comments made to the wife of Luke Fickell? We were all set to make fun of this story, but then we remembered how fast we block trolls on Twitter. Respect, Fickell and fam. (Ohio State denies this is a thing.)
• Outrage level here is at like a seven; we're going to need y'all down to like a three. Here are several sarcasm-free sentences: This is college football, and this is the internet, but we are seeing a level of outrage on this story that seems waaay out of proportion to the actual insult delivered. It's Ole Miss' homecoming, and the school ought to be able to do with it what it likes. It is inconvenient, but if folks in Auburn are that mad about the Tigers' band being prevented from performing, schedule the Rebels for homecoming next year and do it right back. Or, use this as inspiration for something far more diabolical: What would be REALLY mean is if Alabama decided to stage its homecoming festivities at the Iron Bowl in a year the Iron Bowl was played in Auburn, or vice versa. We would not put this past either team, and hope to see this malicious masterstroke executed in our lifetimes. Until then, we side with commenter Engelbert Humperdink: "You have no idea what horrified means, do you?"
• Tweet of the day.
appearance on Stewart Mandel's podcast