• For the record, we were kidding. Saturday, in the waning minutes of the Texas-Kansas game:
Sunday, in the Coaches' Poll: The Longhorns move up two slots, from 24 to 22. We will choose our words more carefully when next taunting the spider-gods responsible for college football lists.
Elsewhere in rankings news: Alabama, Kansas State, Notre Dame, Oregon and LSU make up the new BCS top five, with the Ducks dropping two slots and the Wildcats and Fighting Irish rising. That dream of Bill Snyder using a crystal football as a hard candy dish draws ever nearer. ... Louisiana Tech appears at BCS No. 25, a program first. ... Along with LaTech, Nebraska, Arizona and Oklahoma State move into the rankings this week, replacing the departed Rutgers, Michigan, Ohio and Wisconsin.
• Get better, Marcus Lattimore's other leg. Update on Lattimore's injury, straight from South Carolina Sunday evening: "University of South Carolina junior running back Marcus Lattimore suffered a significant impact to the front of his right knee during the Tennessee game on Saturday. The ensuing hyperextension of the knee resulted in injury to several ligaments. There were no fractures or additional injuries, according to team physician Dr. Jeffrey Guy. Lattimore's surgically repaired left knee was uninjured during the play. Lattimore is resting comfortably and will continue to be evaluated over the course of the week. Marcus has already begun the process of prehabilitation prior to surgery and to his eventual return to football."
Today is Lattimore's 21st birthday, and this is obviously not how he would have chosen to spend it, but South Carolina is throwing him a get-well celebration this afternoon that's scheduled to include an appearance by Steve Spurrier. If you'd like to add your well wishes, you can send them to this address.
• In other really bad injury news: Maryland has lost another starting quarterback. We're not even sure what to say at this point, but the Washington Post seems to have a pretty good handle on it: "Call it an injury bug, call it a curse, call it whatever you choose, but the situation facing Maryland football team’s quarterbacks has zoomed right past bad luck and into the realm of absurdist theater." True freshman Caleb Rowe, thrust into duty thanks to Maryland losing the two quarterbacks ahead of him in Week 8, tore his ACL against Boston College. For those of you scoring at home: If you count the preseason loss of C.J. Brown to an ACL injury and the transfer of Danny O'Brien, that's five Terps quarterbacks up and down in the space of less than a year. Quarterbacking for Maryland in Week 10 will be converted linebacker Shawn Petty, backed up by tight end Brian McMahon.
• Fear not; the legal hollering at the college football postseason will continue. The Utah attorney general will not pursue a lawsuit against the BCS, but doesn't rule out the possibility of suing whatever we're calling whatever comes next:
"We're very suspicious that a selection committee picking four teams is still going to be an antitrust problem, but we don't know for sure," he told the Deseret News.
• Roster blotter. Idaho football falls into further disarray with two players dismissed from the team, including starting quarterback Dominique Blackman, and another suspended indefinitely.
And now for something that's not at all horrifying.