Dan Mullen throws a bowling party for Mississippi State football players

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By Martin Rickman

This is the just about the greatest thing a coach can do for his players during August practices.

Seriously, football is hard and grueling, and two-a-days are the worst and all anybody ever does is throw up and get hurt and suffer subconcussive blows anyway. Let's just make all the second practices of two-a-days into birthday parties you had or wanted to have when you were a kid. Just imagine the possibilities:

• LSU's Wild & Crazy Kids Party

• Paul Chryst takes Pittsburgh to go see the Matthew Broderick version of Godzilla at the drive-in

Dana Holgorsen organizes a trip to Mountaineer Casino, conveniently accidentally forgets to grab the team on the way

• Bo Pelini takes his kids to the fiberglass factory

• Larry Fedora puts on a cassette tape of the BoDeans

• Laser Quest with Oregon (I assume there is a laser tag arena in Oregon's new football facility anyway)

• Bret Bielema lets the team stay up late to watch Undressed

• Kevin Sumlin gives everybody a subscription to Zoobooks

• Putt-putt with Steve Spurrier but none of this lollygagging this is serious practice your form

• Al Golden takes the 'Canes to jai alai

• Jim Grobe gives all the Wake Forest players full-size Snickers bars

• Paul Johnson lets his team get a drink of water before the second practice

I'm proud of you, Coach Mullen. I really am.