Designated Read: Like a doll's eyes

Thursday December 1st, 2011

 Fresh coaches, bought and sold: Newsy bits involving the staffing and de-staffing and re-staffing of various programs:

Kevin Sumlin is this season's hot hiring flavor, and having been in a room with him once before when he was asked a question he didn't care for, I cannot wait for some reporter at the C-USA title game to attempt to discuss which visor Sumlin will don next year instead of breaking down the Cougars' matchup with Southern Miss. Guy gets a flat, shark-eyed stare going that's practically Sabanian in its chilling effect.

- Not a lot of "football minds" on Penn State's search committee to replace Joe Paterno, which has a couple ex-Nittany Lions worried. I thought the same thing looking at PSU's offensive statistics all year, guys.

- "The great thing about WSU and being a Coug is that we don't do it like everybody else. We stick together and we don't eat our own. I believe the innocence of Wazzu has been lost today." -- Paul Wulff, who held a press conference of his own yesterday after the one announcing the onset of the hunt for his successor.

- “The only job that I am worried about, and the job that I have got all my heart and soul and attention on, is Maryland.” -- Randy Edsall, whose heart and soul could really use some help putting together a coherent defense. Which organ is responsible for that? Pancreas? [Via the Post.]

And again, for a complete list of ousted coaches, check in with our personnel carousel roundup, which will be updated with each new firing. Also, enjoy that one commenter up top who thinks this is the place to complain about the staff of the San Diego Chargers.

 Hey, looky here, this again: West Virginia filed to have the Big East's lawsuit dismissed. You can read the entire motion, if you're that kind of sicko.

 Roster blotter: Two more Gators will waddle away from the Swamp (waddle? What's the word for however an alligator walks? Trundle?), and TCU's Ross Evans may or may not play against UNLV.

 This improper benefit will self-destruct: It'd be way more fun for all involved if the NCAA called this process "disavowal." (Also potentially rife with lucrative tie-ins, what with a new Mission: Impossible movie coming out. "This NCAA investigation brought to you by Tom Cruise hurling himself off that one very pointy building in Dubai!")

 Also, the name "Sporting Club:" Let the presence of bottle service and the open disdain for football face-painters serve as a somber warning that This Is Not Our Kind Of Place, y'all.

 Internet. So, this should be interesting.

 Internet, II: Inevitable, somehow
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