Designated Read: Great chieftain o' the puddin-race!
• Kansas upgrades Florida's offense -- for free! Charlie Weis returns to the Sunflower State, and the reviews are rolling in:
"Kansas football will always have to hire coaches with risk. It's just that this one comes with a tint of desperation, too." -- Kansas City Star
"Weis will need to identify second-tier talent and turn it into first-tier talent to win the Big 12. Identifying and developing: his Achilles heel in South Bend." -- Paul Myerberg
"I ASSUME YOU CAME WITH A SKI MASK ON AND SHOULD LEAVE WITH ONE BECAUSE YOU STOLE MONEY AT NOTRE DAME AND YOU STOLE MONEY FROM FLORIDA AND NOW YOU'RE GOING TO KANSAS AND THAT MAKES YOU SOME KIND OF SUBTROPICAL DEPRESSION THAT GUSTS INTO PRESS CONFERENCES RAINS TURNOVERS ON AN OFFENSE AND THEN SUCKS THE CASH OUT OF THE AIR." -- mildly disgruntled Florida partisan Spencer Hall (Language warning at that link, for those of you with bosses who don't understand just how badly the Gators deserved to be cussed this season.)
Additionally, Will Muschamp praises Weis' tenure at Florida, which makes Will Muschamp a terrible liar. Want to tell Kansas what you make of this hire? The Jayhawks have left their Facebook wall announcement open for public commenting! Wasn't that nice of them?
• Fresh coaches, bought and sold! Toledo's Tim Beckman will serve as Ron Zook's replacement at Illinois, and he's really generally less befuddled than this photo makes him look. It'll be nice to see somebody breathe some offensive life back into that team; now if only Beckman can hang onto Whitney Mercilus another year to keep that pass rush interesting. In other news from the carousel: Tom Bradley's still in the mix at Penn State, and Larry Fedora has got to get an official photo taken of himself in a Carolina blue visor and shades so we can all recognize him on sight again.
• Shiny! LSU's already raking in the hardware a month in advance of the national title game. Tyrann Mathieu and Mo Claiborne took the Bednarik and Thorpe Awards, quite deservingly, in last night's Orlando catch-all awards ceremony. Heisman finalists Andrew Luck, Robert Griffin III and Trent Richardson took home the Maxwell, O'Brien and Walker awards, respectively. Click through for a full report on the ceremony and other awards, and click here to see SI.com staffers' Heisman picks.
• But think of Houston Nutt oh right: 80-scholarship FBS teams, ahoy!
• Penn State things: Starting Monday, we're just going to start listing institutions and organizations who do not intend to investigate Penn State. Next up: The Big Ten.Friday whimsy: the MACtion scale under the 1997 bowl system target="_blank">don't make us love you