Thanking the Academy, in advance

Friday May 18th, 2012

Former Cal QB Joe Ayoob's paper airplane-throwing world record is under controversy. Maybe the story will be the next big hit in the box office? (AP)

We know all you readers, like us, lie awake nights wondering how the story of former Cal QB Joe Ayoob’s world-record paper airplane winging could successfully transition to feature film. It’s just too pat, we agree, to end in a poorly-lit airplane hangar in front of a crowd smaller than the ones cheering him on in Berkeley. No, what this tale really needs for a dynamic third act is some juicy courtroom drama populated with characters one might encounter in a Christopher Guest ensemble.

The Wall Street Journal is here to oblige us, with a report on the "controversy" surrounding Ayoob's record:

"Competitive paper airplane flying had always been, in my mind, what can one person do with one piece of paper," says Mr. Kreiger, a 23-year-old engineer. Using a ringer, he says, is problematic: "I don't really think that's the spirit of the competition." [...] A Guinness spokeswoman says there was no internal debate about giving Mr. Collins credit. But some paper-plane purists are still aflutter.


Paper-plane enthusiasts have traditionally seen theirs as an individual sport. The question now: Is Mr. Collins's ringer a bad precedent, or has he ushered in a new era in which designers can focus on better paper folds instead of muscle tone?

It's all spooling out in your heads now, isn't it? Eugene Levy and Catherine O'Hara and Jennifer Coolidge as take-no-prisoners, never-say-die, cutthroat paper airplane enthusiasts? Just picture Channing Tatum as Ayoob, defending his case in front of the Supreme Court against a string ensemble backdrop score, thundering to a close with this real life quote: "We broke a world record. If people want to try and hate on that, then that's all good." Chills. Working title: Desperado Joe, the Faux-Throwin' Bro of Strawberry Canyon.

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