By hollyandersonsi
May 18, 2012

Light reading from the past week to speed you through your Friday.

He's being modest. This was clearly a pistols-at-dawn duel with a bear, probably over a garbage dispute, which the bear lost because bear claws make drawing from gunbelts difficult.

In other vital Washington State news. It's May, and you can't tell yourselves you have anything better to do than peruse this history of squirrel-related police calls in Pullman.

Imagine a world where Idaho falls out of FBS -- wait, what? SB Nation dug deep into college football fantasia this week, examining a hypothetical world of NCAA relegation.

No matter where it is, they should just call it "The Rose Bowl." The SEC and Big 12 are looking out for their respective No. 2s.

Why not just ban the Sun Belt, PAAAOWL? It boggles our minds that we've never before heard of a coach being dinged with a secondary violation for chaw-related reasons.

Rise up with fists, fall down with ankles. While we are staunchly neutral on the subject, because we hate having to fly to get anywhere but snow games are awesome to behold, here's something we've never understood about this largely imaginary Big Ten/SEC weather spat: Why dug-in SEC partisans have never coolly shot back about B10 schools needing weather to help them win games. This seems an obvious trolling point that is largely being unused.

BREAKING: Craig James still giant lying liarpants. Honestly, it makes us sad. He should be better at this by now. Lying, that is.

The Surliest Wedding Planner. We've got a career path all plotted out for Urbz the next time he gets sick of football:

Pluggy plug plug. We had nothing to do with this, which means it's a promising purchase: Chris Brown of Smart Football's new book, The Essential Smart Football.

It counts. Old Dominion to CUSA

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