'Cameron' is clearly a gateway name*

Wednesday May 23rd, 2012

Cam Clear, pictured here on National Signing Day 2011, was arrested after stealing a laptop from a Tennessee baseball player. (Landov)

Continuing a proud tradition of SEC football players named Cameron operating in a state of blissful oblivion regarding how easy stolen laptops are to track, backup Tennessee tight end Cam Clear was arrested Tuesday for felony theft after being caught with a Vol baseball player's laptop. This being a college-athlete-swiping-electronics story, it will not surprise you to learn that he was apprehended in the dumbest possible fashion:

UT police detected Tuesday someone was using the laptop to log into the university's wireless network and caught Clear sitting at the keyboard, according to the warrant.

We've said this before in about five different ways, but in today's rapidly evolving world of technology, it disturbs us deeply that young Americans can reach their majority without understanding how easy it is to track gadgetry. Clear regretfully neglected to finish the drill in classic Cameron fashion by printing his name on the computer in letters visible from space or flinging it out the window in an effort to evade capture. No word just yet on his status with the team (UPDATE: indefinite suspension, ahoy!), but best case scenario, a stint in junior college and monster one-year career with an SEC West team will precede early entry into the draft. (Worst case scenario, he ends up in the What To Expect When You're Expecting sequel.) *And what the blue heck is James Cameron up to on the bottom of the ocean, all by himself? We'll never really know, will we?

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