Designated Read: We are about to say something nice about Memphis

Thursday August 16th, 2012

• You would have to have absolutely zero familiarity with us to think we're joking. Stand down, crabby Scout denizens; we're serious: This is one of the best promo videos we have ever seen. Wonder of wonders, it is actually funny; how often do university videos find success in that department? The gently swaying hips. The "SHUT UP, DENNIS!" The punctuating vending machine punch at the end. Well done, Memphis. [Via.]

• May our children forgive us. The Pac-12 Networks went live Wednesday night, without any untoward destruction of property. There's a new website, which is unsurprisingly slick. Here is a joke about cupcakes.

• George Clooney was born in Lexington, which has nothing to do with what you are about to see. Can we not get Joker Phillips a better band? Has the man not suffered enough? Here, soothe those frayed nerve endings with this video of Kentucky's players horsing around at the pool.

• Injury report story hour. C.J. Brown, Maryland's starting quarterback, tore his ACL in a non-contact drill and will miss the 2012 season ... so, too, will USC defensive end DeVante Wilson, who missed last season as well with an ACL tear in his other leg ... Clemson offensive tackle Gifford Timothy is recovering from meniscus surgery and is not expected to suit up against Auburn ... New Mexico's starting quarterback, B.R. Holbrook, left practice with "shortness of breath and tightness in his chest and shoulder area" and was taken to an Albuquerque hospital ... and this is the precise opposite of an injury, but Robert Woods sure looks like he's doing well.

• Roster blotter. Michael Dyer now reportedly plans not to play football in 2012 at all ... Kansas import Jordan Webb will start at quarterback for Colorado (grind those molars, Texas partisans) ... Ole Miss seems to be leaning toward not naming a quarterback until after Week 1 ... and yes, that's that Johnny "Shirtless Mugshot" Manziel earning the starting QB gig at Texas A&M. ESS EEE CEE. • Misc. The AJC asks its sports recruiting audience, "What are your thoughts? Which side do you believe? What is right and what is wrong?" but reaps a comment thread depressingly void of any meditations on man's inhumanity to man ... We suppose Bane Kiffin was something of an inevitability, but that doesn't make it any less delightful ... Central Michigan introduces an all-black uni that looks absolutely gorgeous ... Wyoming games will be on television, somewhere ... and hey, here is a neat article stating that Syracuse provides a better home game atmosphere than Alabama! We are sure no one will have anything to say about that.

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