Mark Emmert: 'Dreams feel real while we're in them.'*
Gonna just leave this here button up top. Open in a new window; press while reading as needed.
So, y'all remember on Monday when we were all "We’ll have more on this when we actually see the notice of allegations, unless we don’t see this notice of allegations, in which case we’ll be right back here next Monday writing a third variation on this same headline"? Turns out we could be waiting a while. We all could be waiting a while. Waiting on the NCAA to investigate its investigation of Miami. (Press that button. We'll wait.)
Quoth the NCAA, Wednesday afternoon: "The NCAA national office has uncovered an issue of improper conduct within its enforcement program that occurred during the University of Miami investigation. Former NCAA enforcement staff members worked with the criminal defense attorney for Nevin Shapiro to improperly obtain information for the purposes of the NCAA investigation through a bankruptcy proceeding that did not involve the NCAA.
"As it does not have subpoena power, the NCAA does not have the authority to compel testimony through procedures outside of its enforcement program. Through bankruptcy proceedings, enforcement staff gained information for the investigation that would not have been accessible otherwise."
There's more, and we highly suggest you click on through and read the whole hysterical document, and when you come back, follow us after the jump for a little impromptu offseason Laff Rioting:
*Not actually said by Mark Emmert, today, at least not as far as we know, but ...