By Martin Rickman
October 15, 2013

First off, I'm just going to transcribe this because it's important to do so.

"Good afternoon. Just want to remind everybody that it's Columbus Day. All those of you that know Italians, and like Italians, or the people that might venture onto a ship and travel, to explore and find new lands, this is your day. So it's not St. Paddy's day. That's a different day entirely."

Okay, now what to make of this. My personal feelings about Christopher Columbus and Columbus Day notwithstanding, I guess it is good to be celebrating people who like to be on boats and people who like to explore and people who are Italian and people who like people who are Italian. And Miles is absolutely right in asserting that Columbus Day is not St. Patrick's Day.

St. Patrick's Day is not during football season for a number of reasons, most notably because having St. Patrick's Day during football season might bring about the end of civilization as we know it.

Here is a list of other days that Oct. 14, 2013 was not:

• My birthday

• My dog's birthday

• Christmas

• Saturday

• Tomorrow

• National Taco Day

• National Hot Dog Day

• May Day

• Transformers Awareness Day

• Thanksgiving

• Ingrid Bergman's birthday

Here is a list of other days that Oct. 14, 2013 actually was:

• Roger Moore's birthday

• The 105th anniversary of the last time the Cubs won the World Series

• The 51-year mark since the start of the Cuban Missile Crisis

• The one-year anniversary of that guy who jumped from space

• The birthday of poet e.e. cummings (his middle name was Estlin and he was great)

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