Florida's parody of "Royals" trolling Florida State is kind of a disaster

Thursday April 17th, 2014

So there's a UF comedy troupe's parody of Lorde's "Royals" that our friend Brian Floyd over at SB Nation pointed out. It's called "Seminoles" and, well, just watch it first. I've typed up the lyrics so you can follow along.

I've never been to Tally in the flesh,

I know that everybody says it's trashy.

But 'Noles and Gators just don't mesh,

'cuz Florida State just ain't as classy.

And FSU is like Gold, Garnet, Coke products, Tomahawk Nation,

Loud parties, slutty girls, lack of education.

We don't care, UF invented Gatorade.

And the Gators be blue, orange, Tim Tebow, we're the Gator Nation,

Crazy parties, hotter girls, better reputation.

We don't care, we're just glad we don't go there.

And we'll never be Seminoles (Seminoles), it don't run in our blood.

That kind of dump just ain't for us.

We want a cleaner campus.

And we're proud to be Gators (Gators), our guys make so much money,

And baby our school (our school) is the best in the SEC.

FSU kids get denied,

'Cuz for them UF is just too cool.

And I'm ashamed to have applied,

but that's okay, FSU was my safe school.

And FSU is like BCS champions, really lame war chants,

Fear the spear, Scalp 'em, dear God I just can't.

We don't care, UF invented Gatorade.

And so UF is like Gator Chomp, Gator Growl, no stupid war dance,

Reitz Union, Krishna Lunch, money from our Couch Grants.

We don't care, we came up with Gatorade.

And we'll never be Seminoles (Seminoles), we'll never be that way.

That kind of dump ain't just for us.

Orange and blue is in our blood.

And we're proud to be Gators (Gators), our grades put 'Noles to shame,

And baby our school is the best because Gatorade.

Oooh, Oooh, Oooh, so they've got an Indian, but we're crododilians.

Eff Tallahassee, on that we can all agree.

And we'll never be Seminoles, it don't run in our blood.

That kind of dump just ain't for us, there's nothing left to discuss.

And we're proud to be Gators (Gators), we make so much Gatorade,

And our school (our school) is the best there will ever be.

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OK, as Ashley Burns of Uproxx suggested, there's a chance this is a parody of a parody or something making fun of the Florida vs. Florida State rivalry as a whole. And it's possible. The "because Gatorade" thing and the rattling off of bad arguments why FSU isn't as good as UF comes off like some kind of meta "look at how dumb fans can be" thing. "Our girls are hotter and we have Tim Tebow and our colors are better." I want to believe. But if it's not, and this is just a straight play, wow. That would put it up there with Purdue's "We got a big drum" video. As a general rule, unless you've got sweet cars and awesome tailgates and celebrity guests and a smart beat, stay away from making these parodies. Please. For your own good.

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