The Saskatchewan Roughriders of the Canadian Football League and the Marshall Thundering Herd of the National Collegiate Athletic Association both unveiled new football uniforms this week, and oh...oh, dear. If you're a fan of assaultive green and your eyes hurting, you'll love the arresting new suits both teams decided to drape themselves from head to foot in.
Here, first, are our dear friends to the north with a new 'special edition' jersey that employs a lethal concoction of something called 'blitz green.'
These aren't that far off from the team's normal uniforms. But little malachite epaulet-style patches? Saskatchewan, by all accounts, is a wildly popular CFL franchise, albeit one already based in emerald-ness. The team has a good thing going re: attendance and a rabid fan base. What is the thought, here, Saskatchewanians?
Well, team director of retail operations Mark Habicht, actually explains that here. To paraphrase.
We wanted to make sure we were encompassing the new Saskatchewan, and really, again, putting on that modern twist.
Next, here's Marshall, going with a plainer but still version, complete with the old school D.A.R.E. 'say no to drugs' style font on the front.
Why Marshall, why? pic.twitter.com/qj8AylhpEp— Dieter Kurtenbach (@dkurtenbach) August 10, 2014
Yeah, it's a terrible look. pic.twitter.com/FaZ9CY2yPY— Dieter Kurtenbach (@dkurtenbach) August 10, 2014
The whole affair is bordering on turquoise. The plays don't even look happy. As SBNation poet laureate Spencer Hall put it, someone in Huntington, W. Va., thought it was OK to make an "Andes mint nightmare."
Let's just hope Michigan St. or North Texas or, God forbid, Dartmouth football doesn't develop a similar deep green fixation.
- Will Green