A ranking of Subway's most terrifying anthropomorphic meat sculptures

Wednesday April 22nd, 2015

Subway celebrated its new endorsement deal with Heisman Trophy winner Marcus Mariota by making a sculpture of his likeness out of sandwich parts. The result is this unsettling creation.

This is not uncharted territory for Subway, which has a history of making NFL draft prospects into humanoid meat humps that lie squarely in the uncanny valley.

With that in mind, we present Extra Mustard's ranking of Subway's most frightening lunch busts.

6. Robert Griffin III

Diane Bondareff/AP Images for Subway

• ​Tom Brady 'politely' declined RGIII's request for advice

5. Marcus Mariota

4. Anthony Barr

Diane Bondareff/AP Images for Subway

3. Ndamukong Suh


• Gronk is raffling off a chance to get on his party bus​

2. Jarvis Jones

Bebeto Matthews/AP

1. Mark Ingram

Diane Bondareff/AP Images for Subway

GALLERY: Athletes and Sandwiches

SI Apps
We've Got Apps Too
Get expert analysis, unrivaled access, and the award-winning storytelling only SI can provide — from Peter King, Tom Verducci, Lee Jenkins, Grant Wahl, Andy Staples and more — delivered straight to you, along with up-to-the-minute news and live scores.