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Arkansas football coach Bret Bielema says, in the year 2016, that he just purchased his first app. What could it be?

By Extra Mustard
March 07, 2016

Arkansas football coach Bret Bielema says, in the year 2016, that he just purchased his first app. It’s a little late for him to be getting into the game, but we commend him for taking the plunge. 

What could that app be, though? We’ve got a few ideas.

  • KIMOJI — To spice up his tweets.
  • Heads Up! — To bond with his assistants on those long recruiting trips.
  • Angry Birds — That’s what the kids are playing these days, right? (No, it’s not.)
  • Minecraft — So this is what kids are actually into?
  • 7 Minute Workout Challenge — He’s a busy guy. 
  • Goat Simulator — Perfect for a country boy.
  • Monopoly — Finally, a real game.
  • Sports Illustrated — To keep up with the latest news about his favorite teams, from his favorite writers. (It’s actually free.)
  • University of Arkansas Bands — Just to find out why it has a disclaimer about “frequent/intense realistic violence.”
  • NBA Jam — You know Bielema was really into this game when he was an assistant at Iowa in the 90s.
  • Sky Guide: View Stars Night or Day — To remind himself that, in the grand scheme of things, his existence is entirely insignificant.

We’ll file an open records request to see how many in-app purchases he’s making. 

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