He really, really wanted to dump that Gatorade. 

By Dan Gartland
October 04, 2018

He really, really wanted to dump that Gatorade

The Brewers beat the Rockies in Game 1 of the NLDS on a walk-off single by Mike Moustakas in the 10th inning and Milwaukee utilityman Hernan Perez was in the mood to celebrate.

Unlike after a walk-off homer when the celebration happens around the plate, the Brewers mobbed Moustakas out near second base. That meant Perez had a long, long way to go with the Gatorade cooler to deliver the celebratory shower. 

Now, a gallon of water weighs about 8.3 pounds. After some extremely quick research on Gatorade coolers, I’m doing to guess that’s the 10-gallon variety. Assuming it’s not entirely full but also accounting for the weight of the cooler itself, I’m going to guess Perez is carrying about 80 pounds roughly 200 feet to deliver the shower. That’s serious dedication. 

I found my new favorite college football player

West Virginia defensive tackle Kenny Bigelow, a grad transfer from USC, went down with cramps in the Mountaineers’ win over Texas Tech last week. That wasn’t unusual—Bigelow has had trouble with cramps all season long, head coach Dana Holgorsen said. 

“Bigelow cramps. He’s just one large muscle,” Holgorsen said Monday on his weekly radio show, as transcribed by West Virginia MetroNews. “He always gets IVs at halftime. We were concerned with how many snaps we’d be able to get out of him in general. In camp, we thought we’d get 10 per half.”

But even though his muscles may seize up, his sense of humor never quits, as evidenced by what happened when Holgorsen went to make sure Bigelow wasn’t seriously injured.

“He’s on the carpet motionless,” the coach explained. “I look at him and go ‘What’s wrong with you?’ He goes, ‘I’m fat.’”

If this is fat then I want to be fat. 

We’ve got video game beef between hockey teams!

This is the most 2018 news I could possibly imagine. Two NHL teams are feuding over Fortnite. 

It started when the Canucks banned their players from playing Fortnite on the road and young Jets star Patrik Laine made this nice little quip. 

“I think they just needed something to blame after last year,” Laine said. “We made a deal: If we’re playing like [the Canucks], we’ll give up our PlayStations and not take them on the road. But I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

Well, Canucks veteran Brandon Sutter didn’t take that too well. 

Bits & Pieces

A town in Minnesota is having trouble with birds getting drunk off fermented berries. ... I’ll just copy and paste this Miami Herald headline: “Did the commissioner accused of sphincter bleaching just compare the mayor to Hitler?” ... Kyrie Irving says he’ll re-sign with the Celtics when he becomes a free agent this summer. ... Red Sox legend Johnny Damon is picking the Yankees to win the ALDS. ... This video of a high school football player choking his opponent after a tackle is extremely messed up. 

The only thing worse than wearing a customized jersey with your name on the back is doing it when you’re a professional athlete

Guy Fieri is plotting his attack on Tom Brady for living such a flavorless lifestyle

Always check the background of your photos

Dan Feldman at NBC Sports did a thorough breakdown of the sliver of whiteboard here, which may include the Kings’ draft board and a very grim season win projection. 

Marc Bulger, Jared Allen, Michael Roos and Keith Bullard have a curling team?

How did Rinaldi get the sad piano through security?

New Jordan sneakers inspired by an old SI cover

And here’s the cover in question:

A-Rod and Big Papi are already getting heated

Jalen Ramsey implores you not to inflate Tyreek Hill’s résumé

Lacrosse fight!

Avert your eyes, wine lovers

Kids music festivals rock harder than I thought

Pizza Hut is fine dining in China

A good song

Email dan.gartland@simail.com with any feedback or follow me on Twitter for approximately one half-decent baseball joke per week. Bookmark this page to see previous editions of Hot Clicks and find the newest edition every day. By popular request I’ve made a Spotify playlist of the music featured here. Visit our Extra Mustard page throughout each day for more offbeat sports stories.

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