MLB

First the fries, then the pizza!

By Dan Gartland
May 02, 2019

Not the fries! Not the pizza!

Fans will do anything to secure a foul ball at a big league game, even sacrifice their dinner. 

One Dodgers fan at last night’s game against the Giants in San Francisco tried to seize a souvenir in the top of the second and succeeded—though he lost his dinner (fries and maybe a hot dog or a burger) in the process. 

Was he content with taking home just one foul ball? No, absolutely not. In fact, he wanted another so badly that he was willing to sacrifice his replacement meal (a slice of pizza) when another ball came into his section in the very next inning. 

This frame is a real renaissance painting. 

You’ve got the woman drinking champagne at a baseball game (!!!), wearing white pants and holding the piece of pizza that just fell on her white pants. (In earlier frames, you can see that the pizza plate is soaked all the way through with grease, so you know her pants are completely ruined.) The man in the white Dodgers jersey is clinging to the railing for dear life while the foul ball chaser is dragging him down. The foul ball chaser has been so overzealous in his pursuit that his right leg is in the row behind him. And then there’s the man in the jacket on the right, carefully surveying the situation. 

I understand losing the fries on the first foul ball. They’re all loose in the container and our man had to make a tricky play on the ball. But dropping the pizza is inexcusable. Any New Yorker knows that you can fold a slice of pizza on a paper plate, and he had plenty of time to prepare himself while waiting for the ball to come down. If he folds that pizza it’s perfectly secure and he maybe gets to take home another foul ball. Shame on Californians. 

Notice anything about this goal? 

That’s the equalizing goal scored by the Islanders’ Josh Bailey in the second period against the Hurricanes last night. Does anything stick out to you? 

How about Brock Nelson giving Curtis McElhinney a pat on the head after the puck went in?  

The Canes got the last laugh, though, scoring the winning goal in the third to take a 3–0 lead in the series. 

Maybe let James Dolan stay as far away as possible? 

A group of Madison Square Garden shareholders has filed a lawsuit claiming CEO James Dolan is way overpaid and spends too much time touring with his goofy blues-rock band

“In 2017, for example, the band performed 50 times in six countries and 41 U.S. cities, an increase from the 32 shows it performed in 2016,” the complaint reads in part. “In late 2017, the band released its sixth album, and is in the process of recording a seventh.”

While Dolan is obviously overpaid ($75.6 million over the last three years, $43 million more than any other CEO of a similar company, according to the suit), I’d argue that the shareholders should be happy Dolan isn’t more involved. MSG has succeeded in spite of Dolan, not because of him. He inherited a monopolistic cable company from his father and has been printing money ever since. The trouble starts when he actually gets involved in running a competitive business, like the Knicks. 

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Gotta love Shaq keeping the bit going

The disrespect!

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Between the legs!

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A good song

Email dan.gartland@simail.com with any feedback or follow me on Twitter for approximately one half-decent baseball joke per week. Bookmark this page to see previous editions of Hot Clicks and find the newest edition every day. By popular request I’ve made a Spotify playlist of the music featured here. Visit our Extra Mustard page throughout each day for more offbeat sports stories.

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HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
OUT
HOLE YARDS PAR R1 R2 R3 R4
IN
Eagle (-2)
Birdie (-1)
Bogey (+1)
Double Bogey (+2)