Take a bow

One of the reasons I could never be a broadcaster is that I could never remain calm in an unexpected situation. My call of a buzzer-beater or a walk-off homer would be “oh s---!!!” and I’d be fired before the end of the night. I don’t even know what I’d do if a baseball came into my broadcast booth while I was calling a game. I’d probably get so flustered that I would fail at both calling the game and catching the ball. It’d bounce off my hands and knock over a soda, ruining my computer, I’m sure. 

But Marc Schwartz, the announcer for the independent Atlantic League’s Somerset Patriots, not only managed to snag a foul ball that came his way but also gave a very professional call of the whole play. 

It’s amazing how he never dropped the whole Serious Announcer Voice at any point. That’s a guy who’s ready for anything. 

He should be proud of himself, because he easily could have ended up like the minor league announcer who had his laptop smashed by a foul ball. 

Talk about a brain fart...

Orioles infielders Hanser Alberto and Chris Davis combined last night for a play that surely had their Little League coaches pulling their hair out

In the bottom of the seventh, as the Orioles were in the midst of a total collapse, the Indians had loaded the bases with just one out. Jason Kipnis chopped one to Alberto at second, who first tried to tag Francisco Lindor coming from first before flipping the ball to Davis at first. Kipnis was safe, so Davis thought about getting Lindor on his way to second only to notice that Leonys Martin was rounding third to score the second run of the play. Davis’s throw was late and Martin was safe. 

The Orioles are trying to be bad this season (and succeeding) but not in this way. This is real fundamental stuff.

If you’re Alberto, your first option is to see if you can get the runner going for home. But Alberto never even looks to see where the runner on third (Jordan Luplow) is. His first instinct is to try to tag Lindor, who smartly makes Alberto waste as much time as possible.

Davis, meanwhile, also fails to account for the fact that the point of baseball is to cross home plate and tries to get Lindor caught in a rundown, allowing Martin to score easily. 

Just a disaster all around. At least give the Orioles credit for finding new ways to be terrible. 

CJ McCollum finally met Jennifer

The biggest meme among NBA fans since last summer has been CJ McCollum’s exasperated response to a trash-talking Warriors fan after he talked about superteams with Kevin Durant on his podcast. 

Jennifer even got a shoutout after McCollum dropped 24 in a postseason win over the Thunder. 

And then CJ finally got to shake Jennifer’s hand last night in Oakland during ESPN’s pregame show. 

The Blazers almost pulled it off

The Blazers gave the Warriors everything they could handle in Game 2 in Oakland and even built a 15-point halftime lead. But Golden State came roaring back in the second half, thanks to a 37-point performance by Stephen Curry. 

The play that sealed the game was Andre Iguodala’s steal against Damian Lillard in the final seconds.

The best of SI

Mike Leach taught a class where he asked students to draw up trick plays. This is how he graded them. ... Brook Koepka’s record-breaking round at Bethpage proved he’s the best player in the world. ... There’s more than meets the eye with Jon Daly’s cart-riding at the PGA

Around the sports world

Dirk Nowitzki says he’s eaten ice cream every day since his last game and gained about 15 pounds. ... The Ole Miss golf team missed an NCAA championship bid because a player’s ball killed a bird. ... The NHL admitted the referees missed a hand-pass on San Jose’s game-winning goal and had reportedly pulled all four of the officials from the rest of the postseason. 

Farewell to the most fun team in the NHL

What a throw by Machado

As if there are Mets fans who haven’t already seen every episode of Seinfeld

Starling Marte must be great at dodgeball

Ian Kinsler is a bat-flipper now?

Classic Mike

Let’s not talk about the score of this game

(It was 17–3.)

Katie Nolan nailed it again


Niners safety Antone Exum Jr. is making music now. Here’s his debut single. 

Not sports

A waitress in England inadvertantly served a bottle of wine worth $5,700. ... A cop in Rhode Island pulled over a city-owned self-driving vehicle on its first day on the road. ... Robert Pattinson is going to be the next Batman. ... Will Smith and Queen Latifah are producing a hip-hop version of “Romeo & Juliet.”

Pure terror

Wanna see what a dam collapse looks like?

This guy bought a bunch of bread that was more useful as sponges

A good song

Email dan.gartland@simail.com with any feedback or follow me on Twitter for approximately one half-decent baseball joke per week. Bookmark this page to see previous editions of Hot Clicks and find the newest edition every day. By popular request I’ve made a Spotify playlist of the music featured here. Visit our Extra Mustard page throughout each day for more offbeat sports stories.