Reggie Wayne: AP
I am neither a poker-on-TV enthusiast nor connoisseur of Las Vegas casinos for loooooooong weekends ... but I am a big-time fan of the Super Bowl and its lovably random prop bets -- which appear eerily similar to the inane wagers listed on Jeff Ritter's whiteboard at the SI.com office in Atlanta. And since we've run out of fresh nuggets for the last football-related Fantasy Clicks until April ... now's the perfect time to address our own version of Colts-Saints Prop Bets (with a little help from Mr. Ritter):
**(Over/Under) WR Reggie Wayne amassing 74 receiving yards against New Orleans ...
**Peyton Manning racking up 288 passing yards ... (O/U)
**Manning's first TD pass goes to ...
Ritter: His wife on Super Sunday morning -- Reggie Wayne during the game.
Clemons: Uh ... I'll say Austin Collie.
**RB Joseph Addai collecting 66 rushing yards ... (O/U)
Ritter: Under, thanks to Jonathan Vilma ... VIIILLLLLLLLLLLLMMMAAAAAAAAA
Clemons: Unlike you, I don't need six painfully long words to say 'over' ... HA!
**TE Dallas Clark tallying six receptions ... (O/U)
Ritter: I'll ride the under.
Clemons: Hmmm, I want to say a 'push' ... but let's go with the over.
New Orleans Saints
First New Orleans WR to score a TD will be ...
Ritter: Robert Meachem
Clemons: Marques Colston
**Drew Brees racking up 292 passing yards ... (O/U)
Clemons: Over (great minds think alike, eh?)
**What happens first: Pierre Thomas gets a TD OR Reggie Bush nets 60 rushing/receiving yards?
Ritter: Can I choose "Kardashian luxury box shown on TV three times"? If not, I'll go with Pierre.
Clemons: I wouldn't be shocked if Bush gets 59 yards on his first touch ... but P-Thomas still beats him.
**Brees will reach 3 TD passes BEFORE/AFTER his second Super Bowl interception?
Clemons: I'll begrudgingly say before, as well.
**Which Saints TE will finish with more yards -- Jeremy Shockey or David Thomas?
Ritter: Shockey ... is this a real even-money bet?
Clemons: Shockey ... no, I was just testing your sobriety here.
Before anyone dogs the QB choice of Curtis Painter below, I originally planned on Minnesota reaching the Super Bowl -- which explains why Brett Favre, Visanthe Shiancoe or Percy Harvin were saved for the end ... and why I had to eventually make the Bizarro-world Sophie's choice of Painter vs. Mark Brunell:
QB: Curtis Painter (the sad result of already using up Manning/Brees)
RBs: Reggie Bush/Mike Bell
WRs: Pierre Garcon/Robert Meachem
RB/WR Flex: Devery Henderson
TE: David Thomas (already used up Shockey/Clark)
K: Garrett Hartley
D/ST: New Orleans Saints
Championship Sunday Picks (they're now ineligible for other rounds)
QB: Peyton Manning
RBs: Shonn Greene/Pierre Thomas
WRs: Jerricho Cotchery/Austin Collie
RB/WR Flex: Thomas Jones
TE: Jeremy Shockey
K: Jay Feely
D/ST: Indianapolis Colts
Divisional Playoff Picks (ineligible for other rounds)
QB: Drew Brees
RBs: Joseph Addai/Beanie Wells
WRs: Sidney Rice/Marques Colston
RB/WR Flex: Reggie Wayne
TE: Dallas Clark
K: Ryan Longwell
D/ST: San Diego Chargers
Wild Card Picks (ineligible for other rounds)
QB: Kurt Warner
RBs: Ray Rice/Cedric Benson
WRs: Larry Fitzgerald/Randy Moss
RB/WR Flex: Ryan Grant
TE: Jason Witten
K: Mason Crosby
D/ST: Cincinnati Bengals
Since we're on the subject, here's our way-too-early listing of the top 25 quarterbacks in 2010:
1. Aaron Rodgers, Packers
2. Drew Brees, Saints
3. Peyton Manning, Colts
4. Philip Rivers, Chargers
5. Tom Brady, Patriots
6. Donovan McNabb, Eagles (could be No. 5 IF traded to Arizona in the offseason)
7. Matt Schaub, Texans
8. Tony Romo, Cowboys
9. Brett Favre, Vikings (yes, we're going on the assumption he'll be back next year)
10. Ben Roethlisberger, Steelers
11. Matt Ryan, Falcons (it's a crime he's listed so low; could be top-7)
12. Jay Cutler, Bears
13. Eli Manning, Giants
14. Joe Flacco, Ravens
15. Matt Cassel, Chiefs
16. Matt Hasselbeck, Seahawks
17. Carson Palmer, Bengals
17b. Alex Smith, 49ers
18. Matthew Stafford, Lions (one more year of seasoning before The Reckoning)
19. Kyle Orton, Broncos
20. David Garrard, Jaguars
21. Matt Leinart, Cardinals
22. Matt Moore, Panthers
23. Mark Sanchez, Jets
24. Chad Henne, Dolphins
25. Vince Young, Titans
1. Drew Brees, Saints
2. Peyton Manning, Colts
3. Mark Brunell, Saints
4. Curtis Painter, Colts
1. Reggie Wayne, Colts
2. Marques Colston, Saints
3. Austin Collie, Colts
4. Pierre Garcon, Colts
5. Robert Meachem, Saints
6. Devery Henderson, Saints
7. Lance Moore, Saints
8. Hank Baskett, Colts
1. Joseph Addai, Colts
2. Pierre Thomas, Saints
3. Reggie Bush, Saints
4. Mike Bell, Saints
5. Donald Brown, Colts
Now that the list of college underclassmen declaring for the NFL draft has become official AND the Senior Bowl has come and gone, here's our revised list of the Top 20 Fantasy Newbies for 2010:
1. RB C.J. Spiller, Clemson
2. RB Jahvid Best, California
3. RB Dexter McCluster, Mississippi
4. WR Dez Bryant, Oklahoma State
5. WR Taylor Price, Ohio
6. WR Golden Tate, Notre Dame
7. WR Mardy Gilyard, Cincinnati
8. RB Jonathan Dwyer, Georgia Tech
9. WR Arrelious Benn, Illinois
10. QB Jimmy Clausen, Notre Dame
11. QB Sam Bradford, Oklahoma
12. TE Ed Dickson, Oregon
13. WR Brandon LaFell, LSU
14. TE Aaron Hernandez, Florida
15. WR Danario Alexander, Missouri
16. RB Charles Scott, LSU
17. TE Rob Gronkowski, Arizona
18. WR Demaryius Thomas, Georgia Tech
19. QB Tim Tebow, Florida
20. QB Dan LeFevour, Central Michigan
I had the unexpected pleasure -- courtesy of the DVR -- of viewing the pilot episodes of Cheers and Married With Children on Wednesday night ... and it had me thinking about the greatest debut shows of my sitcom lifetime (sorry, Fish). To wit, here are the 10 Best TV Pilots Since 1980 (which unfortunately excludes WKRP In Cincinnati, M*A*S*H, Three's Company, Happy Days, Soap or Mork & Mindy from this discussion):
1. NBC (1982) Cheers -- great opening, superb plot ... and our first-ever Norm!
2. NBC (1984) The Cosby Show (hilarious argument betwixt Dr. Huxtable and Theo)
3. FOX (2004) Arrested Development (perhaps the most dysfunctional pilot in sitcom history)
4. FOX (1987) Married With Children (super-tight writing for Al, Peg, Steve, Marcy ... great stuff!)
5. NBC (1990) Wings (great plot, witty jokes and Brian Hackett absolutely carries this episode)
6. NBC (1994) NewsRadio (best plot: Dave has to fire the station's boss -- on his first day @ work)
7. ABC (2009) Modern Family (Ed O'Neill makes this list twice ... truly dominant!)
8. NBC (1993) Frasier (the show itself actually exceeded the pre-show hype ... BOOM!)
9. ABC (1988) The Wonder Years (a boy's first kiss & sublime humor surrounding tragic death)
10. NBC (1984) Night Court -- This gets the slight nod over Seinfeld/Family Guy/The Simpsons/Family Ties/It's Your Move/Curb Your Enthusiasm/How I Met Your Mother/Entourage/30 Rock ... along with Friends/Spencer/Home Improvement/It's Like, You Know for one simple reason:
Dan Fielding's fully formed greatness is realized in Episode #1 ... which is something very few shows can boast. (Editor's Note: The Fielding clip isn't from Episode 1 ... just the best one we could find on YouTube)
... To publish an official prediction (besides "PAIIIIIN") for Super Bowl XLIV in Miami:
Colts 31, Saints 28
Jay Clemons can be found on Twitter, day and night (@SI_JayClemons), accessing your fantasy questions and comments. You can also read his award-winning Revelations every Sunday and Monday during the NFL season.