The Dongers Club

GIFTastic DongersClub for Thursday, July 26th!
Publish date:

Yesterday sucked. In fact..... Everything post the all-star break has been like living in a basement in Minnesota and doing write-ups with 8 third baseman on a 4 game slate. Or qualifiers for $1800 with only 16 people in them. My write-ups post the all star break have been just blah. By blah I mean ...... well ...

I'd just say they have been pretty boring...

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It's as if I am still on vacation mode.... Enough of that... The Dongers Club has been like something you would read in the bathroom at a KFC in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of shit on the stall that makes no sense and wants to make you vomit.

Kinda like doing a week 1 fantasy football analysis. My God people, football talk now is great, but anyone who is out there giving you a sneak peak because DraftKings decided to vastly ruin the week 1 slate by pricing everyone before the pre-season is a giant douche-tard. Great, now I completely lost track of where I was going with this...

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Oh. Right.

The Dongers Club needs a swift kick in the ass and I need to wake the heck up in this second half of the baseball season and get back to being a different and unique write-up that is why you should be reading this rather than just trying to get the same crap you can get for free from your dog.

So let's cover a few random thoughts here ....


Sandra Bullock ... Who if you don't think she is (or was) attractive then you have issues. Sure, she's had some shitty movies (most if not all) and she doesn't leap off the page on the hot scale, but she is way up there for me. Interestingly enough, she was a cheerleader at Washington and Lee High School in Arlington, Va. True story! I used to play hoops there when I was a kid and it was my second favorite gym to play in. True story #2! I also once played golf against W&L and their neighbor rival schools Yorktown and Wakefield and one year another senior from another school (Yorktown) who's name -- and I kid you not here -- was John Daly and he was a total prick told a freshman kid from Wakefield that he had to drop his pants and whip his dick out when he couldnt hit the ball past the red ladies tee's and the Wakefield kid believed him. Funny at the time I guess... I wonder where that Daly guy is now....

Anyways, Sandra Bullock is 54 today. Wow, she's old.... Anyways, it is kinda hard to do the top 5 Sandra Bullock movies because, well, because lots of them are trash. I have honestly never seen All About Steve, because, well that would be the ultimate Derek Carty type thing to do. The Net sucked ass. Crash was a good movie no real thanks to her. Speed seemed good at the time, but really it had Keanu Reeves in it and well that negates it's quality. Some might like the Blind Side or even Gravity but without a doubt her best movie was A Time to Kill, which unfortunately is a book/movie that reflects our society today unfortunately...

Okay, enough about that.

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Today's random Birthday is .... Ellis Kinder ... old Ellis Kinder, pitcher for the Boston Red Sox... FB has some good data splits on him, but lets take an in depth look at his career....

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Ellis born on this day in 1914 in Atkins, Arkansas and died on October 16th, 1968 in Jackson, Tennessee.

Ellis went 102-71 with a 3.43 ERA and had a 28.7 WAR for his career (My God, could you imagine Brian Kenny alive in the early 1900's doing his rants on the shift?). Kinder finished in the top 10 for MVP twice and in his 12 year career he pitched over 200 innings twice and threw a whopping 19 complete games in 1949 when he went 23-6 with 6 shutouts for the Red Sox.

When Ellis Kinder pitches in Chicago, you play Ellis Kinder. He went 12-3 with a 2.85 ERA in Old Comiskey Park. Not shockingly as a right handed pitcher he struggled the most in Cleveland where the lefties must have really given him trouble as he was only 3-7 with a 4.05 ERA in 80 innings and he gave up 7 homers.

Happy birthday Ellis ... oh wait, he's dead. Well, cross him off the list then.


All games should play tonight. Trust me, I completed a meteorologist test last night online and I have a PHd in it now or something...

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This is the part of the article where some folks like to write about a pitcher in the wrong ballpark or a pitcher facing three different teams on the same slate... If I ever have a glaring mistake like that, please, call me out for it....

Tyler Mahle ... People will attack him because of the ballpark and that he has struggled heavily with lefties. Guess who used to struggle with lefties as well. Folty. Guess who we love for his K upside now. Folty. Yes, I just compared Mahle's talent to that of Folty. Suck it. Philly has free swining Willie Mays Hays who won't touch his fastball today and Carlos "Watch me do the Joey, Joey, watch me do the Joey Joey Votto" Santana that can hit from the left side of the plate. So Santana walks after Willie K's... Mahle is my favorite arm today.

Derek Rodriguez ... I think D-Rod will be a trendy play on the late night contests as an SP2 today but will be fairly ignored on the main slate against Milwaukee in a big stadium. I don't expect anything spectacular here besides a middle of the road 2x game but I would much rather have him than Sonny Gray.

Wade Miley ... I prefer D-Rod for strikeouts but Miley has pitched unusually well this year and has been changing his approach to the point where we can trust him. I guess you could say its a Mahle-Miley day for me....

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Steven Matz ... Adding him, I think Mets beat the Pirates tonight


Sonny Gray -- So here's the deal with Sonny. He's not the type of pitcher who has been striking out the Royals of lately, so ignore the Royals increase in K%. He's also got ZERO leash to pitch deep tonight and by deep I mean beyond the 5th inning. So immediately on FanDuel you are really tempting the potential for the Quality Start bonus AND tempting the potential for the WIN bonus if somehow he gets pulled before finishing the top of the 5th. Add in good weather for hitting, and a good park shift for the Royals and trouble spots like Moose (cold yes, but still a trouble spot), Duda, Salvy and Whit and this is a dangerous spot where you are stuck with a chalk arm going 5 innings, giving up 3 runs and striking out only 4 batters. Hard, no. The Yanks have the bullpen to limit Sonny to 5 innings.

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RAYS ... I love playing Tampa in Camden Yards. They face old Ray tonight in Alex Cobb and C.J. Cron should jack one 450 feet off him.

RED SOX ... Both Boston and New York have similar matchups today. At home in good hitting conditions against teams with terrible bullpens. Boston actually is facing the better SP, so they're the lower owned high upside stack to roll with here. Benintendi is a must for me today.

DODGERS & BRAVES ... Gimme Atlanta in what should be a back and forth game in a hitters park. Between this game and the Reds-Phillies game we have two good ballparks but this game features the better HR pop teams. Look at the Dodgers lefties like Joc, Grandal and Bellinger (my favorite) for exposure on the other side, while on the Braves Albies is back so fire up the Acuna-Albies mini stack.


RANGERS .... Oaklands streak is gonna end today. Texas wins. Cahill wears down second half. Love Gallo.

YANKS .... They have 1 home run since the All-Star Break. Partially because they're overrated but also just a simple matter of being cold and playing in Tampa the last few days. Giancarlo is hitting the ball well and should jack one out tonight against Junis. Risky stack because they wont bat in the 9th most likely, but a couple HR upside plays here is worth it.



  1. Yasmani Grandal
  2. Francisco Cervelli
  3. Salvy


  1. CJ Cron ... A must if going Rays
  2. Matt Olson
  3. Ryan Zimmerman


  1. Ozzie Albies
  2. Rougned Odor
  3. Whit Merrifield


  1. Eugenio Suarez ... Suarez on Suarez crime! Hits lefties well and is heating up -- streaky guy
  2. Matt Duffy
  3. Mike Moustakas
  4. Adrian Beltre


  1. Didi ... Pop is coming back. Benefits from home park.
  2. Trea Turner
  3. Xander Bogaerts


  1. Giancarlo Stanton
  2. Khris Davis ... Coming off a Double-Dong -- could it end the hot streak? Fade at risk.
  3. Andrew Benintendi
  4. Joey Gallo


  1. Joc Pederson
  2. Cody Bellinger
  3. Matt Kemp
  4. Ronald Acuna


  1. Kevin Kiermaier
  2. Jose Bautista
  3. Brian Anderson
  4. Nick Martini


  1. Andrew Benintendi - OF - Chairman
  2. Giancarlo Stanton - OF
  3. Kevin Kiermaier - OF
  4. CJ Cron - 1B
  5. Salvador Perez - C
  6. Rougned Odor - 2B
  7. Eugenio Suarez - 3B
  8. Didi Gregorius - SS
  9. BONUS .......................................... Ryan Zimmerman - 1B