The Dongers Club - Fri, August 14th


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I consider yesterday a great success. You know why? We got the dumb Mookie 3 HR game out of the way on a spot where nobody cared because everyone in the world had a gazillion points. Even those morons who played the Italian had good scores as well. So if its gonna be a crapshoot slate, might as well get the crap shooting on out of there and when you are playing craps remember to always bet the GOAT #9.

Christianity is a crapshoot | Page 11 | Religious Forums

Today being a Friday means we have a ton of new series and we actually have 15 games scheduled today but not every team is playing Baseball today, no no no. The stupid St. Louis Cardinals continue to collect their stimulus checks and sit out the season while they are know hindering the White Sox from keeping some momentum going for the first time this year. Those two will play a DH tomorrow (as of now) and then maybe we can all get back to never playing Kolten Wong again.

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The reason we have 15 games today is because of the Orioles and the Nationals. Oh, the Nationals.... They had to suspend their game last Sunday with the Orioles due to a 15 minute rain storm that ended up flooding the field when their groundscrew went full Castillo (I'll spare you all the GIF since he isn't pitching today) and could not get the tarp on the field. So they're resuming that game before their scheduled game today in Camden Yards. The irony here is that the suspended game starters included Stephen Strasburg and he is then pitching in the game which we can roster on the DFS slate. Lucky for anyone who boldy plays Strasburg today you will not get stuck with his shitty performance from Sunday.

For DFS purposes, it's only 13 games because we remove the Orioles-Nats half game and we also remove the game in Sahlen Field. If you don't know what Sahlen Field is, you are already behind the 8-ball my friends. Here's what I want you to picture.... Take Coors Field. Add in the Roof in Arizona being open. Now imagine that the stadium is in Cleveland and only Lefties are playing in it ...

Calculate Figure It Out GIF by Originals

Now throw in the Comerica Wind. Throw in Camden Yards with the Orioles Pitching and pretend that Dylan Covey is the pitcher for both teams but he's been recommended by every tout in the world because some pitch he only throws 15% of the time ranks 7th out of 10 teams on a slate in some xz-squared_pISO category listing. Got it?

Calculate Figure It Out GIF by Justin

It's a hitters park you knucklehead and it's not on the slate because.... Well, I don't know why. Because Toronto had to schedule all their home games at 6:37 this year. Not 6:30, not 6:35, not 6:40.. 6:37. What the fuck is going on here? Does SportsNet or TSN or whatever the hell their broadcast station is have an extra 7 minutes of commercial programming? Is that a Canada thing that I am not aware of? Anyways, even though they aren't playing in Toronto they are still starting the games at these stupid times and we cannot roster Tampa Batters against Tanner Roark.

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The other quick highlights for today are Coors Field, Jake Junis pitching in relief after ... ugh ... Ian Kennedy and a second start for both Spencer Howard and this Ryan Castellini fella. Fun times.

heavy metal dancing GIF by Cheezburger


I see no issues

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Gerrit Cole

I would like to be the first to thank the Boston Red Sox for their participation in the 2020 season. And by participation I mean.... Well, absolutely nothing. Boston is going to be the first "go sit down b****" game of 2020 for Gerrit Cole. He's coming off a 10K performance against Tampa but had to labor to get those 10K and didn't make it through the 5th inning. Today won't be as much of a problem as Boston has to come in with zero confidence of winning a game and will sleep walk through 7 innings while striking out 12+ times. The risk in Cole is simply that highly owned mid range SP's could do well and going Cole on DK will restrict you slightly from Coors and other bats there.

Update: With deGrom scratched my opinion on Cole changes 0.0%. I was locked in on him before and it wasn't an ownership play or anything pointless like that with a star SP. This was me believing in him and although it bums me that some Jake players will pivot over, we continue forward with Cole. And with everyone being FREE on FanDuel, you can get Cole in without any issues there.

Sonny Gray - DK

On a slate with lots of good Starting Pitching as heavy favorites, is best to consider the one who is the most salary friendly while also having a very good K% upside and we have that with Sonny today against those Pirates who went off yesterday. Unlike the Italian yesterday, Gray is not heavily weighed down into the garbage can by facing left handed batters and he'll have to navigate around just two landmines today. The first is the folks who believe in birthday narratives as it is Josh Bell's birthday and the second is Jarrod Dyson. Nobody should be afraid of Jarrod Dyson.

Jesus Luzardo

Now we're cooking with gas. The Athletics have swapped onto Luzardo today, promptly after the Giants posted their lineup BTW -- so we'll see if they change it up. But I was liking Montas as a "get you by" option, but unlike the dorky loser I'll cover below this is a future ace in the big leagues. The Giants have hit a few lefties okay this season including Clayton Kershaw last week. That's nice. Reach out and touch faith...

Jesus GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

Outside of the Box

Pablo Lopez

Both Lopez and Wright are on my radar, but the edge slides over to Lopez for a few reasons. First, Wright still has a short leash and you'll see him have a hard time with Dickerson/Joyce today. His walks are too high still and if he's off then it's a short outing.

Second, Lopez gets no Acuna and just a free swinging Braves lineup in his big stadium. Third.... I have no third, but I feel like you should always have things in three so I wanted to list a third, and here's a GIF of a dog for your time.

Dog knocks over kid - GIF on Imgur

Arguably My Worst Recommendation ever

Ivan Nova

Es to iesaku citā valodā vienkārši tāpēc, ka vēlos jūs sajaukt. Nopietni, es nevaru apstiprināt Ivanu Nova pret komandu, kura atsit bumbu pa zonu un ir noslogota ar kreisās malas. Es domāju, ka šī ir absolūti vissliktākā spēle uz galda kopš Anthony DeSclafani tālaika. Bet šeit ir darījums. Jāšanās Klīvlendā. Fuck viņiem un viņu COVID preppy ass krūzes, kuriem nav ne jausmas, kas notiek pasaulē, un daudz mazāk no pārējā beisbola. Ieskrūvējiet Sandy Alomar Jr, aizpildot Tito Francona un ... labi, es nevaru teikt neko sliktu par Tito Francona, izņemot pārtraukt nepieredzēt Lindor aģentu ***** un izkustināt savu pakaļu no trim caurumiem, ievietot viņu sasodītajā vadā ar Santana 2., Ramirez trešais Franmils 4. un to jau sauc par sasodītu dienu.

Guys I am not using

Spencer Howard: Make a stand people. Make a stand. We still have folks out here telling us Zack Godley is going to be elite. Somewhere, over the rainbow, down a river and on a livestream, there's evidence of someone jerking off Spencer Howard today for no good reason. He sucks. Period. He sucks.... You can try to poke fun at me for my love of Jakob Junis (who continues to improve) but I have a fairly good track record thus far of passing on overhyped prospect pitchers. Where's Beeks? Where's McKay? Where's Godley? Where's Faria? Ya'll still think Chris Archer is a future ace??? You get the idea and I know that you can't make a determination on a pitcher this early in his career and he'll have his moments. But he doesn't pass my smell test.

Aaron Civale: I hope Cleveland gets COVID and has to play the rest of the season against the Cardinals on a boat out in the Pacific Ocean......

oh and Asians in the Pacific. Duh...

Oh Man! Oh God! GIF | Gfycat
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I do not think this is a spot to load up on just one team, but rather there are specific games I like and here's the teams to note in those games.

UPDATE: Roof Open in Arizona, so move the Padres up to the top of the list & lock in Mets on DK

Minnesota Twins

Eddie Rosario, Jorge Polanco

Just when I thought maybe I was starting to accept Mike Matheny as Royals manager he trots Ian Kennedy out as an opener ahead of Jake Junis. Hot take. I actually don't hate the idea of Kennedy as an opener and was thinking it myself. Logical take. Using Ian Kennedy as an opener against in front of Junis against the Twins in their ballpark with 14+ MPH WINDS OUT TO LEFT FIELD IS FUCKING IDIOTIC. Matheny is trying to sell us some bullshit that they identified a few mechanic issues with Kennedy and he has been working on them.

For fucks sake the guy came in against the Reds and started giving up bombs to every person within a 30 mile radius of Cincinnati the other deay. I think even Josh Van Meter hit a home run off him. Josh Van Meter doesn't hit home runs off anyone good. Sigh. There is a time and a place for Ian Kennedy. In a big stadium (like KAUFFMAN ... they are in Target, which isnt tiny ... but still) and when the wind is blowing IN! Sweet Jesus you don't use Kennedy when the wind is blowing out over 10 MPH.

So great. Now Junis doesn't have a shot at the QS bonus on FD + he is going to be coming into the game with his team down 4-3 in the second inning (do the math on that 1st 5 inning bettors) and he'll be facing a lineup that has their mojo back. Just wonderful. Nelson Cruz ladies and gentlemen is the beneficiary of Ian Kennedy and leaving shit up in the zone, but one should also like Eddie Rosario who has really turned it on of late and probably does the most damage throughout the game. And is anyone not betting Kepler to lead off with a solo HR?

I wouldn't say stack the Twins, but you probably want a Twin or ... well, Two?

Texas Rangers

Willie Calhoun, Joey Gallo, Elvis Andrus (SS sucks)

This is like Russel Wilson upgrading to Ciara. The Rangers hitters have had to play games in their own below sea level dump, San Francisco and Oakland so far this season. Now they get to venture way up mile high to Coors Field. So there's an obvious first game in Coors thought on this game but no fear the Rockies are trotting out this Ryan Castellini fella again for his first Coors debut. We can compare Coors alot of times to the PCL and that's where he spent his 2019 life and it didn't go very well. Texas is a HR hunting team and these guys are gonna be hunting today.

San Diego Padres

Wil Myers, Fernando Tatis Jr., Trent Grisham

If you've been following along this week then you know the theme is finding pitchers who've had far too good of a start to continue. That's Merrill Kelly, who not only has been too good but also just saw these same Padres. Chase Field has been revolting against the humidor this season and with hitting heating up and the hard hitting Padres coming into town I expect a high scoring weekend.

Other Notable Teams

  • Mets: How much Conforto is too much Conforto? But JD Davis is the sneaky bat here.  So sneaky that he isnt playing. FFS. Dom Smith
  • Royals: Like in Detroit they've had some big games in Minnesota, but nobody more so than Salvador Perez.
  • Dodgers: 86 degrees in LA, cross town game and Patrick Sandoval.
  • Nationals: FD Only. Good value w/ Kendrick/Turner.
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  1. Salvador Perez ... Comes in white hot, is really healthy, playing with a lot of fun as he always does and absolutely murders Target Field.
  2. Wilson Ramos ... Death, Taxes and Mets catchers hitting bombs in Philly.


This is a disaster position today and I kind of want to just go Olson/Chapman for my late night hammer. But definitely don't lock in on someone here. It's heavy randomness today.

  1. Matt Olson
  2. Big Pete Alonso
  3. Ryan Braun ... Braun in Wrigley on a Friday???? Hmm. Hmmmmmmmmm???


  1. Howie Kendrick (FD)
  2. Jake Cronengoats
  3. Luis Arraez


Hard not to spend up at 3B today with a loaded slate. Don't forget the white hot 'Nado if you fade Cole.... He can hit Dipshit.

  1. Alex Bregman
  2. Matt Chapman
  3. JD Davis ... This play. This one. I like it very much


  1. Fernando Tatis Jr - Padres stack... Kid hits bombs everywhere and #WhatHumidor?
  2. Jorge Polanco
  3. Trea Turner - LOL FD...
  4. Elvis Andrus

OUTFIELD - Mt. Rushmore

  1. Eddie Rosario
  2. Michael Conforto
  3. Wil Myers
  4. Willie Calhoun


  1. Jorge Soler ... Needs a slump buster and will likely take as many pitches as he can + Odorizzi will be cautious with him. Even more reason to load up on Salvy behind him.
  2. Nelson Cruz / Max Kepler
  3. David Dahl
  4. David Peralta - Birthday.

Outfield - Value

  1. Robbie Grossman
  2. Matt Joyce
  3. Hunter Dozier
  4. Sir Thomas Pham ... Heeeeeeeeeeey, welcome to 2020 pal. Nice to see ya.
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On DK you have to sit and ask yourself if you want to use Cole

  • Are you using Spencer Howard at 4K? If Yes, ok, fine, to each their own.... If No, then how do you not have 2 Mets in your lineup????
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  1. Salvador Perez - C - Royals - Chairman of the Dongers Club
  2. Matt Chapman - 3B - Athletics
  3. Ryan Braun - 1B - Brewers
  4. JD Davis - OF - Mets
  5. Eddie Rosario - OF - Twins
  6. Howie Kendrick - 2B - Nationals
  7. Fernando Tatis Jr - SS - Padres
  8. Matt Joyce - OF - Marlins
  9. BONUS ...................... Willie Calhoun - OF - Rangers


  • Tigers ML
  • Royals ML
  • Dodgers/Angels OVER