Loose Change: Tiny bytes

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Some epic thoughts on the NHL playoffs for people with really short attention spans:

- Has anyone ever actually seen Daniel Alfredsson blink?

- I know I've mentioned it before, but to give you an idea how truly small New Jersey's Brian Gionta is, it takes him three shifts to display his entire last name because he can only fit two letters at a time on the back of his jersey.

- Call me a traditionalist and call me a cranky old sod, but to me they'll always be the Mighty Ducks. This team isn't about a simple, geographically-illogical name, it's about market studies and merchandising opportunities and pie charts. Mickey would be so ashamed.

- Players absolutely hate playing in Dallas this time of year with the sorry status of the playing surface. People aboard the Titanic had better ice conditions.

- I think if I could choose the way I die it would either be (a) while skydiving or (b) peacefully while I slept. The Minnesota Wild has really sold me on the concept.

- Seriously, am I the only one who thinks of a magic leg-waxing kit when you hear the name Legwand?

- According to their fans, for the Thrashers to get back into their series against the Rangers they need to (a) “make more goal points” and (b) “score more offsides.”

- So the NHL passed on using referee Kerry Fraser during these 2007 Playoffs. The league evidently knows the importance of using a good Champoux.

Charlie Teljeur, creator of THN's hockeysockpuppettheatre, brings you Loose Change every Tuesday and Friday only on thehockeynews.com.

Want to talk to Charlie about love, life, or Loose Change? Email him at charlieteljeur@hotmail.com

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