So what if the White Sox lost?
Ain't it wonderful? The White Sox got crushed by the Twinkies on opening night, 10-5, and it doesn't matter in the least, thanks to MLB's brilliant (and greedy as can be) decision to make the regular season even less meaningful than those of the NBA or NHL.
Thanks to the new 16-team playoff format — 53% of teams, leaving the 50% of those other two leagues in the dust — the Sox only have to come in third in the AL Central and edge out one other third-place team to make the playoffs for the first time since 2008. With the Tigers and the Royals handy, a high school team could come in third in the division — though, in fairness, it would take a reasonably good high school team, one at least capable of .500 ball in its own league.
Of course, any team making the playoffs this year should do so with enough asterisks to create another galaxy.
The old joke used to be that the NBA played 82 games to eliminate Cleveland. The new joke is that the American League will play 60 games to eliminate Baltimore. And if the owners find it stuffed more money in their pockets, next year they'll play 162 games to do the same thing.
Oh, about the game. Mayor Lori Lightfoot threw out the first pitch and bounced it, a harbinger of what was to come from the other 127 pitchers Ricky Renteria trotted out to the mound in an effort to make sure any fans watching fell asleep nice and quickly on their sofas.
Lightfoot also did the voiceover of a very nice pregame video, one of the few highlights available. Not that there weren't any others — the Sox did come back from a 5-1 deficit, then decide it would be ostentatious to score any more.
Luis Robert tore the cover off his first major league hit and later added a double. Yoán Moncada had three hits, including a massive, three-run homer. Leury García demonstrated nicely why holding Nick Madrigal back for an extra year of team control could prove very costly on the defensive side.
One big highlight, though — the Sox only struck out eight times, which is very good for them. And — get this — they walked three times! Really. Three walks. That was a week's worth last year. And Yasmani Grandal only had one of them.
Yes, it's true, believe it or not, the Sox accepted three — count 'em, three — walks. Honest.
As for the pitching, well, Lucas Giolito got bashed, but he'll come around. Otherwise, I can't remember which of the other 126 pitchers did particularly badly, though I do remember being amazed that Jace Fry actually did very well.
Also on the upside, while the first two innings took a full hour, the game actually came in a little over 3 ½ hours. Thank goodness for all the new speed-up rules.
Oh, yeah — the big political issue. Some knelt during the National Anthem, some didn't, pretty much all on both teams held a long black ribbon. The world did not quit spinning on its axis.