Envy me, for I have drunk deep from the chalice of athletic wisdom and I am a smarter man for it. For the better part of four days I have done nothing but read pro athletes' blogs, Facebook pages and Twitter feeds.
Now, I know what you may be thinking. Athletes' blogs? Aren't those filled with base self-promotion and mind-melting mundanity?
Ah, but that is where you are wrong. Not so long ago I thought the same thing, naively assuming today's jocks could offer little compared to their predecessors. After all, while playing for the New York Knicks in the 70s,
C'mon, an athlete today couldn't write something like that (for starters, they never travel on buses).
Or at least that's what I thought before I plunged into the prose of the pros. Now I stand before you a changed man. I have learned the secrets of success from
Yes, Shaq, she did. (Though when it comes to another question you recently posed - "Whatthe hell is wrong wit da suns" - that, I fear, is a deeper riddle.)
Oh, the places I have gone and the things I learned. I found solutions to the financial crisis ("Heck, come on people. Spend! Get this economy going" writes US Olympic swimmer
Some players marvel at their own skill ("The crazy thing is my jumpshot is really coming along [and] that could be scary," writes Nuggets forward
I encountered a wealth of trenchant discourse on current cinema, from Shaq's insightful take on
Regrets? On his blog, former 49ers linebacker/maniac
Everywhere I clicked, I gleaned useful advice, from the obvious ("There is no better way to celebrate a big win," writes Cooley "then getting grabbed and punched in the balls by a bunch of offensive lineman on the bus") to the practical. When attempting to ingest nine pounds of fried asparagus in 10 minutes, one should "eat 2 spears at a time" advises competitive eater
There were tips for other bloggers ("please don't use Wikipedia as a reference," pleads
I encountered no MDs, yet learned a remarkable amount about medicine. On her blog, Mercury guard Taurasi describes what it was like to have an infected hair follicle removed from her back ("incredibly painful...I could feel the creature in every nook and cranny") while promising "the video will follow" with "maybe a soundtrack." Arenas -- perhaps the most prolific pro blogger out there - reports on the downside of painkillers, namely that after taking them, "I couldn't use the restroom for like five days." Alas, there is no video to follow.
No one taught me as much, however, as Hornets center
Finally, near the end of my cyber wanderings I came upon the blog of tennis star
I think I do, Rafael, I think I do.