By Bill Scheft
January 20, 2005

A 30-second commercial during next month's Super Bowl can cost up to $2.4 million. That's a 4.3 percent increase over last year. But to be fair, in the same period of time, Mickey Rooney's butt has increased six percent.

A Super Bowl ad for the cold remedy Airborne was rejected by Fox because Rooney's naked backside appears briefly. How come I think we'll wind up seeing it anyway in a Frank Caliendo skit?

Indianapolis routed Denver, 49-24. The Colts and Broncos combined for 738 yards passing. Talk about a track meet. Twelve more yards and they would have had to rename it the Milrose Wild Card Game.

Seattle is now in its third decade without a playoff win. Tough day for the Seahawks' Shaun Alexander. He gained just 40 yards on 15 carries and was awarded the game knife.

Meanwhile, did you catch the end of the Jets-Chargers game? How about that blow to the head? Not the one on Drew Brees, the one Marty Schottenheimer must have sustained to decide it was a good idea to set up the OT field goal on the right-hash mark.

Monday Night Football finished with the lowest ratings in its 35-year history. Maybe someone should talk to Al Michaels about his cologne.

Darren Woodson, the last remaining player from the Cowboys' three Super Bowl teams of the '90s, announced his retirement. Woodson played under five Dallas coaches and at least as many Jerry Jones facelifts.

Angels owner Arte Moreno decided to change his team's name to attract fans outside the immediate area. In a related story, the ride at Disneyland will now be known as Pittsburgh Pirates of the Caribbean.

The change to L.A. Angels is not official. Moreno still needs written permission from the late Leon Wagner and the late Bo Belinsky.

Congratulations to Wade Boggs, elected to Cooperstown on the first ballot. Wait a minute. I thought Boggs wasn't eligible because he hasn't had his new hair for five years.

Too bad. If he had pulled off the job, he could have changed his nickname to"Merch-o."

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