By Jack McCallum
May 15, 2009
The Week's Worst In Sports
An actual win over the Red Sox this season? Priceless!

As the Pinstripers' struggles to sell jaw-droppingly priced luxury boxes continue, the franchise is also peddling countless memorabilia items such as -- we're not making this up -- $59.99 "mini-dirt collages" that feature a photo of a Yankees player and a "container of game-used dirt."
With The Sopranos and The Wire off the air, HBO needed a good crime series

The NFL team known for leading the league in total offenses committed by players -- that's significantly different from "total offense" -- was chosen by NFL Films to be the subject of this year's Hard Knocks, the behind-the-scenes look at training camp shown on the cable channel and now guaranteed to make "Ochocinco" a household word.
We're guessing there are a lot of Duke-hating d-linemen out there

In choosing to play football at Syracuse, where he has a better-than-good chance of starting at quarterback, the 6-foot-1, 180-pound ex-Duke point guard will be lining up behind one of the most traditionally porous offensive lines in college football.
The golf committee at Augusta likes dreaming high and stuff, too, but doesn't, like, think that will happen

Cheered by her improved play of late, the Hawaiian phenom said that although "I'm not going to be like, 'Oh, I'm going to go out and win a men's event,' " one should "dream high and stuff," and that winning a men's tournament is "one of those long-term goals where I see myself getting to," and added that she would like to play in the Masters.
We thought we'd never hear from them again once Joe Biden left for the veep mansion

Despite threatened legal action from the NFL and the NCAA, the First State became the fourth to legalize sports gambling.
Early line in Delaware: Take D-State plus the 27

Mid-Eastern Atlantic Conference member Delaware State accepted a forfeit for its Oct. 17 date against North Carolina A&T so the Hornets can earn a big payday by playing the Wolverines before 105,000 in Michigan Stadium. Then again, they might actually win the game.
Joe the Plumber may have disappeared, but an attention-seeker brother has surfaced

Craig Coakley, the Tri-County Plumbing employee who became the first streaker in the history of Citi Field, told the New York Daily News that he had been planning such a moment for eight years, or about how long it took Einstein to come up with Relativity.
It's possible that severe glaucoma plagued him throughout his career

The former University of Cincinnati star and NBA journeyman was sentenced to one year in prison in a plea deal resulting from an arrest in which investigators found 29 pounds of marijuana that Blount insisted was only for personal use.
However, he will accept just 10 percent of the blame

Manny Ramirez is just the latest of a number of the superagent's clients (the New York Daily News puts it at 10) who have been linked to performance-enhancing drugs.
The judge considered letting him attend the Orioles game as extra punishment but ultimately said no to everything

A former gym teacher who is facing child pornography charges asked that he be allowed to attend about a dozen games at Fenway Park because he had purchased the tickets before he was hauled into a federal court.
Agent Drew Rosenhaus on his conspicuous movie date and a QB client competing with Matt Stafford and Daunte Culpepper:

"Saw Star Trek with Jared Gaither of the Ravens. At 6"9 he is the tallest player in the NFL. I felt bad for the people sitting behind him."

"Don't count out Drew Stanton in the Lions' QB derby. Drew has all the ingredients to be a top QB in the NFL and he is ready to compete."

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