Greg Oden claims he's McLovin and enjoys boxed wine. :: AP
After reading this, you'll probably have the same three questions running through your mind as we did: (1) Why is Greg Oden drinking boxed wine when has millions? (2) Why is Greg Oden drinking boxed wine when he has millions at Penn State and (3) Why is Greg Oden drinking boxed wine when he has millions at Penn State and wearing an "I am McLovin" shirt? See: Money and fame destroys people!
What Happened to Duke?
Duke fans don't get it (unless you're a Tar Heel fan, in which you applaud it): Their Blue Devils always make the top of the polls, but die early in the NCAA tourney. Who's to blame? Wojciechowski. It's all his fault. Just nod and go with it.
Pomp, No Circumstance
WVU committed a no-no. A panel went as far as to call the University "seriously flawed." Ouch. ¿Por qué? Because Governor Joe Manchin's daughter was given an MBA when she didn't earn it. She claimed her "work" counted as her class credits. Sorry, but chillin' in daddy's mansion isn't quite the same as macroeconomics. Close, but not quite.
He Has Wiiings!
A James Madison University student found his calling. Just days before graduation, Pierce Hodgesmade it to the top five of the Red Bull First Person competition, which would make him the student version of a Red Bull Athlete. In other words, if he wins, he'll get to wear a bunch of Red Bull gear and pretend he's Ryan Sheckler.
Andy Robinson Is Was Hiring
Robinson needs to stay away from Facebook. :: Chris Jackson/Getty Images; AP
Sorry, but for those of you who applied for the position to write a paper for a basketball player on Facebook Marketplace, it's already been filled. The advertiser decided to was forced to take on the job himself ... as well as receive a suspension. Yes, University of Buffalo guard (and leading scorer) Andy Robinsonhad to write his own paper. Shocking, but true.
Another NFL Draft Game
The draft is so friggin' long you can never have enough games. So here's a good one: "NFL Draft Bingo." If you get five ESPN clichés in a row, you win. Can't be that hard.
Caught With Pie
The student, and her accomplice, who threw that delicious cream pie (what a waste) at New York Times columnist Thomas Friedmanhas been identified. But her sidekick will only answer to "Colonel Custard."
Pop Culture Nugget
Spencer ruins everything, from Heidi's social life to, now, her trip to the White House. Square-face wanted a first-class ticket to Capitol Hill, but Bush didn't want to pay for him. Guess the talentless couple will have to remain in ritzy L.A. pretending they're somebody.