Celebrity Power Rankings

1 David Beckham

More than 5,000 fans and 600 media members turned up for the "presentation" (press conferences are so last year) of Becks. Interesting. That was about as many people who tuned in to watch Victoria Beckham's reality TV show this week.

2 Tony Parker

After capturing his first NBA Finals MVP and tying the knot with Eva Longoria within a month, Parker will have to get used to wearing a couple more rings. That doesn't mean we have to get used to Parker rapping. Please Tony, you really don't have to do it all. Really.

3 LeBron James

Bobby Brown's My Prerogative will never sound the same again for anyone who caught James crooning his version, My LeBrongative. James actually had a better showing as co-host of the ESPYs than he did in the NBA Finals, although we could have done without him slam dunking his "baby."

4 Amanda Beard

Her Playboy cover might be off newsstands, but the Olympic swimmer is still everywhere. She's bowling with Matt Leinart in L.A., learning how to spin the ones and twos from DJ Irie in Miami and partying with Jaime Pressley in the Bahamas. And that was just in the past week.

5 Kim Kardashian

We'll use any excuse to put her in this space, although she and Reggie Bush insisted they're "just friends" last week. Whatever. They're relationship reminds us of this quote we overheard from a well-known NBA player. "Do I hook up with a lot of girls? Hell yeah. Do I have a lot of girlfriends? Hell no."

6 Christiano Ronaldo

Soccer's spotlight might be centered on Beckham, but the man who replaced Becks at Manchester United has also replaced him as the sport's hottest heartthrob. After moving on from English actress Gemma Atkinson, Ronaldo was spotted canoodeling with Bollywood starlet Bipasha Basu.

7 Brooke Hogan

It looks like The Hulkster's little girl has, um, upgraded certain parts of her physique. Too bad that hasn't translated in an upgrade in her following. She performed at a mall in New Jersey last week. Next stop: Six Flags. Fingers crossed.

8 Barry Bonds

He hasn't smiled since throwing an MLB All-Star party with Jay-Z in San Francisco. He's 0 for his last 21 at-bats and has been shooing away reporters like pesky flies. We almost forgot why we hated him so much. You know, other than that whole steroids thing.

9 Michael Vick

Indicted for dog fighting, Vick will likely be mired in the sordid case as he plays the upcoming season, that is if he isn't suspended by NFL sheriff, er, commissioner Roger Goodell. How many times a day do you think the Falcons brass curses themselves for trading away Matt Schaub?

10 Daunte Culpeper

Released by the Miami Dolphins, the injured signal caller compared his trying ordeal to that of Gandhi's. Oh yeah, remember that time when Gandhi was unhappy making millions in South Beach before he was finally released from his contract.

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