August 29, 2007
1 Mark Cuban

The Dallas Mavericks owner joins other dignitaries such as Floyd Mayweatherr, Jennie Garth and Mel B. on next season's Dancing With The Stars. Well, if he can't win an NBA championship he might as well shoot for that prestigious disco ball trophy.

2 Nick Hogan

Good thing The Hulkster just sold his Miami Beach mansion for $19 million. He'll need the extra dough to pay for his son's legal bills after the Nickster, who's been cited for speeding three times in the past year, totaled his car and left his passenger in critical condition.

3 Lauren Caitlin Upton

We believe that Miss South Carolina, uh, got her education like such as uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as... oh forget it and just watch the video.

4 Jeremy Piven

Ari Gold is all over the place. Trying to find a flight to Cannes, partying with Greg Oden and showing up in Common's new music video, Drivin' Me Wild, which also features Clippers swingman Corey Maggette.
5 Nick Lachey

The tabloid favorite and Triple-A baseball owner, stopped by to see how his team, the Tacoma Rainers were doing last week with his girlfriend Vanessa Minnillo. The couple played in a celebrity softball game before getting out of the boondocks and back to pretending to be celebrities.

6 Tom Brady

OK, so we'd all love to be Brady, but things aren't always perfect for the Patriot's pretty boy. His ex, Bridget Moynahan, decides not to give their son Brady's last name (John Edward Thomas Moynahan).

7 Tim Couch

So, the former No. 1 NFL pick and monumental bust reportedly used to take anabolic steroids and human growth hormones. Yeah, that really worked out.

8 South Park

Three more years of the greatest show on Comedy Central is worth every penny of the $75 million the network paid out to Trey Parker and Matt Stone. In the immortal words of Eric Cartman, "Sweeet!."

9 Sean Avery

After getting dumped by Elisha Cuthbert, the New York Ranger winger did what most athletes on the rebound do: he tried to hook up with Paris Hilton.

10 Justin Timberlake/Jessica Alba

Who's more miscast in the upcoming movie, The Love Guru? Timberlake as a star player for the Los Angeles Kings or Alba as an NHL owner? Oh well, anything that makes the NHL relevant even in a fictional scenario is better than nothing.

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