|NFL Power Rankings|
Houston Texans (2-0)Well, here they are. An upset of the Colts is not impossible and I'll tell you why. Trap formula. The line that I set early last Sunday evening was Indy minus 8. A few hours later Vegas opened the game at 4 1/2. When the official opening price is three or more points off my own, I turn around and go their way. Formula pick, slam dunk. They're begging for Colts money, and I'm not gonna get trapped. I tried to explain all this to Brooklyn Decker, the swimsuit model I did that She Says, Z Says video with this week, and she winked at the camera and made a little circling motion next to her head. I don't care, let 'em laugh.
Baltimore Ravens (1-1)I've got the Jets game on tape and I haven't looked at it yet. If you've seen it, and Ray Lewis does one of those muscle-up routines when that late interception fell into his arms, please, for kindness sake, e-mail me about it and I'll be sure not to watch that part of the contest.
San Francisco 49ers (2-0)OK, I'm impressed. League's most anemic offense, with two sub-200-yard games, is unbeaten. Say, what ever happened to that super athletic TE Vernon Davis, whom they drafted with the sixth pick on the board a year ago? He still on the team or what?
Carolina Panthers (1-1)After having the kind of day any WR in the league would kill for (eight for 153 and three TD's) Steve Smith went into a pout on the bench because they didn't throw to him on one screwed up third-down pass play. That would be like me telling the Pulitzer Committee, which is ready to award me the prize, "Get outa my face, man." Uh, "men."
Arizona Cardinals (1-1)They've split with the Seahawks and Niners. Last year at this point they were 1-1 having split with the Seahawks and Niners. They have 40 first downs in two games. Last year they had 40 first downs after two games. Here's where it ends. Last season they had 149 yards rushing and had given up eight sacks. This year the numbers are 253 and one. And let's welcome the new line coach, Russ Grimm, ex-Redskin Hog, ex-Steeler assistant. Hell of a job, man -- so far.
Detroit Lions (2-0)I call Jon Kitna and Jeff Garcia birds of a feather. Hard guys. After seeing two late drives against the Vikings busted by a fumble and a missed field goal, Kitna took his Lions in for the winning field goal in OT, catching a batted pass himself and driving for nine yards, cartwheeling and landing on his head, running for another six, with no slide at the end. And this is after he had to leave the game at one point with a rap on the head (sssh, don't say concussion). No wonder they love him in Detroit.
Seattle Seahawks (1-1)I had originally, in a show of nostalgia, awarded them a spot one notch higher than the Cards, who beat them. Then I thought it through. What's the real reason I did this? Because I get occasional complaining e-mails from the Northwest, but never, I mean never, from those ultra polite folks in the Valley of the Sun. I feel much better now that I've straightened out this situation.
Cincinnati Bengals (1-1)Sixth most points and yards, all time, for two teams. "Entertaining," say the TV airheads. Not to me, it isn't. Just hand the ball an airmail ticket and send it on its way. Fooey, I say? Give me a good 13-7 slugfest, in which nothing's cheap, everything is dearly won. OK, 13-7 is a little extreme. How about 17-16?
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-1)I love it. Garcia is challenging Jon Gruden's play selection. Gruden's reaction? Unpredictable, as usual. He says it's early in the relationship. He's still getting used to it. "Your girlfriend that you choose to marry might be a lot different when you get married." This can be seen on weekdays at 11 a.m. EST, right after Guiding Light.
St. Louis Rams (0-2)Here's another unsung QB. Marc Bulger. Took six sacks against the Niners, behind an unsettled O-line. Got his ribs banged up and stayed in. Kept gunning. Threw for 368, with nine completions of 18 or more yards. Rams lost the game on a fumbled punt. Why don't I rank them higher? Too many others crashing the line.