|NFL Power Rankings|
Philadelphia Eagles (0-2)You don't really know until you see for yourself. This is a team that looks as if it has only one really big league player and that's Brian Westbrook. Donovan McNabb still doesn't have his pins under him, and the wide receivers look like they couldn't get away from a Denville, N.J., policeman.
Jacksonville Jaguars (1-1)The Titans killed them with their ground game, so they took it out on poor Joey Harrington of the Falcons, sacking him seven times. Psychiatrists would call this a case of misplaced aggression.
Minnesota Vikings (1-1)Brooks Bollinger replacing Tavaris Jackson? I mean are they kidding or what? Which was worse, giving up five turnovers or 12 penalties or 415 yards to the Lions? The one win is keeping them from a serious plunge in these rankings, but the real animosity is saved for the ...
New Orleans Saints (0-2)For the reason that I picked them to go to the Super Bowl, and not only that but win it. OK, so I can't handicap the regular season. There are lots of things I'm good at. "Like changing the oil in the car," says a Flaming, redheaded type of person, and that's a damn low blow and she knows it. Thought the crank case was the radiator. Poured water in. Kaboom! Two and a half G's, gonzo alonzo.
Cleveland Browns (1-1)If the output vs. the Bengals was the real deal I'll yank them upwards, Johnny-fast, I promise. Hey, Jamal Lewis' 216 yards rushing was the most by a Brownie since a certain person did it in 1963. I need not mention his name. No one ever did it better.
New York Jets (0-2)It was heroic, the way they staged a huge fourth quarter rally in Baltimore, with their back-up QB. Wins, they need wins. Their defense will give them one against the Dolphins this weekend.
Buffalo Bills (0-2)Marshawn Lynch, 154 yards, two games. Last edition of Buffalo RB, Willis McGahee, 174. Edition before that, Travis Henry, 267. Older first edition, O.J. Simpson, and that's where this little game ends.
Miami Dolphins (0-2)They play defense for a while, but they're only human and then they crack under the pressure of four picks by a QB whose lack of arm strength can generate no respect from the enemy.
Oakland Raiders (0-2)If ever a guy looked like he should be a Raiders coach it's defensive coordinator Rob Ryan. Some guys just fit the role. John Madden, for instance, was perfect. Bill Callahan, Mike Shanahan, Mike White, from the old days. Nah, not right. Are you getting the idea that I don't really feel like discussing that episode of Heartbreak House last weekend in Denver?
Kansas City Chiefs (0-2)Well, they were driving against the Bears, and they were deep, and then they threw a pick in the end zone. It could have been a three-point game with lots of time left. Another episode in this bottom-land of broken dreams and busted hopes. But the three people east of the Mississippi who had them against the Bears cashed their bets because the spread was so huge. You learn to live with small victories.
New York Giants (0-2)Maybe they should be 32nd but I live in the shadow of the Meadows and I have to face Thom who turns the water sprinklers on and off, and the gang at United Cigar who save me the papers every day, and lots of other folks I rely on. DBs can't run, and yet the coordinator comes from a Philly system based on pressure and man-coverage. Eli has been courageous, but they need about 40 points a game to compete.
Atlanta Falcons (0-2)Six of their next nine are in the Georgia Dome, which might not be such a good thing, because the pass rushing types, who sacked Joey H. seven times Sunday, will have pretty good traction. At No. 32 you always look for chaff among the wheat.